Big egos can be frustrating to deal with. Everything has to be about them. Whatever they do is the best and that often means that other people just can't do things properly. It can all be a little suffocating after a while.
When you perceive yourself to be more important than others, you don't notice how you come across as a pompous ass. After all, we are all blessed to be graced by your presence. In the words of the famous song by Carly Simon,
"You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you"
Does Money Breed Entitlement?
Noblesse oblige is an old French expression that means with money and power comes social responsibilities. You can read more about it on the wiki page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noblesse_oblige
Interestingly, though, statistics has shown the opposite to be true:
"The wealthiest Americans donate 1.3 percent of their income; the poorest, 3.2 percent."
This flies in the face of the conventional wisdom that the more you have, the less entitled and more grateful you will feel. In fact, studies done a couple of years ago show the opposite to be true.
Mirror, mirror
According to the research which you can read in full here, http://twicks.weebly.com/uploads/4/5/2/3/45231271/class_and_money_and_ego.pdf, richer people displayed their ego and narcissism in a few key ways:
- They looked in the mirror more frequently
- When asked to depict themselves and the people around them as circles, they depicted themselves bigger and the people around them as smaller
- They were more likely to agree with statements like “I honestly feel I’m just more deserving than other people”
I find that last point to be particularly troubling. It's one thing to look in the mirror a bit more, but to feel you're entitled to more resources because of your position, that's probably why we see ridiculous extraction of resources to the detriment of society.
Rather than contribute to the betterment of society, it leads to one building their own castle, only to be surrounded by slums all around them. It is a real world phenomenon we see in many developing nations.
So what do we do about them?
I have a couple of big ego relatives who've done well with their startups and corporate life. Being in their presence can be quite the pain.
Around them, I practice a philosophy of one ear in, one ear out and not to take their words too seriously, even if they're meant to put me down. They send their kids to the best kindergarten in the country? Good for them. They bought a $20,000 carpet? Fantastic.
But on the society level, it can be a problem if the folks with more resources do not have compassion. There is no good research on how to make rich narcissists more compassionate and we are all worse off for it.