F Social Norms. In These Walls I Keep Her Safe. Raising a Sick Child

Can’t see straight. Mind mushy. Legs giving in. Hands numb. Face vibrating. Ears ringing. Feet throbbing. Wobbling... falling, fading, reaching to brace the wall. Don’t fall. Can’t fall. Answer the her weary call.

Don’t.

Fall.

———

I often forget that my daughter is disabled. I don’t see it. I see her.

That sounds lovely ... it’s not.

If we lived in a world that conformed to us than my forgetfulness would be heartwarming. The world outside of our walls doesn’t conform.

Walls are nice. Walls are warm.

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Photo of my Daughter and I. Circa 2010

For these walls I have literally spilled blood, bawled wretched earth shattering screaming cries while on my knees that throbbed from my fall, thrown food and bottles and drinking glasses, argued, fought, defended, justified, begged, pleaded, and even lied to create. These walls.

341471BE-A888-4829-8A9C-7FFAF3E3CC0D.jpeg
https://unsplash.com/photos/9KF7A8PJFF8?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=view-photo-on-unsplash&utm_campaign=unsplash-ios

Inside of these walls my Daughter isn’t disabled. Inside of these walls we make the social norms. We wake the rules. Inside the walls that make our home is our planet.

Walls are home.

Sometimes I forget that the world outside of our personal planet is cold and full of ridiculous rules and expectations that the very people who universally create think are ill-conceived.

I don’t see the disability because she ISN’T disabled!

But she is.

And she’s sick.

She’s really sick.

I forget. Maybe it’s better that I forget. What benefit would it be to remember?

One day at a time. One moment at a time. Just keep moving. Don’t think Mommy- just do.

Just .. keep .. moving.

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** About the Author**:

Ana Clark is a passionate advertising and marketing communications graduate with a love for film, writing, business, art, nature, and an advocate and promoter of the Hive blockchain and all it's bits.

All written content is copyright 2021 Ana Clark - Ana from Canada unless noted.

Where Ana from Canada Can Be Found:

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