"Letter to My Unborn child"
It breaks my heart she chose to not give you life, I did not choose that path for you, I was ready, if their is such a thing, young and so out of my element but yet I know when you create life, you keep life. I forgive her though, as should you in Spirit, she was young and her mom chose your fate. As much as it hurt me, I could no longer be with the one that didn't even give you a chance at life, no matter how young, no matter where we were in life, nobody has the choice to end life, not even the one that is carrying you in the womb. They together chose darkness, they together chose death, while I spun out of control with no regards for anyone else feelings. I wanted you because I knew I created you, seeded you, even at that age I knew I always would choose life, but I'm the male, I had no choice in your fate. It's sad to me when so many don't even look at it from my perspective, I'm sure I'm not the only one in this position and think its my body my choice type people, you people disgust me but more it saddens me to my core, you choose darkness you eliminate life, you go against God's will, that even as a young boy I know this, I was willing to step up and be a man, whatever that would've been for we will never know.
That was so long ago and I am older now, wiser now but it still hurts, the pain will never go away, especially when you end up with no children of my own bloodline, not my body became not my choice. I often I wonder if her and her mother understand what they have done to me, done to you, they broke me, they broke my heart, they chose death and destruction over life. I pray more would understand to take all the selfishness away and think of those you do hurt along your path, along your journey in life. I have done bad, I have made many mistakes, I to disgust myself at times in my early age but I am with God, the source, and I always choose life, I release it all, all the pain, I forgive myself, I forgive all that has cause me pain too, I am connected like I've never felt before but still I always wish that you would to be, in this life but I had no choice, didn't even know she went and taken it all away until it was to late, I had no choice but to except your fate, to except I would never know what its like,to be a dad or a father, I had no choice I had no clue what happened. I wasn't there to protect you, I to have failed you, it hurts, as I sit here with tears of sadness writing this, my heart hurts for I didn't get to see what you could've become, what I could've created, where that would've taken you and I, but I had no choice, I was broken, they took you away from me, without my permission but not my body not my choice.
It hurts the pain never goes away it will be with me forever but I know I wanted you, I would've been their for you but you were stolen from me, I had no choice but to except it for it was to late, they chose death over life. Like I said I forgive but it still hurts, I wonder if they know, I wonder if they hurts them to know what they did to this day, I wonder if they hurt like I do for making that horrible decision. I know what evil is, and I know what good is and that to me is always pure evil but that's why I'm with God, that's why I choose the light, so remembering my past I will never be able to forget but I am able to move forward, even with no child of my own, my own bloodline for I was never blessed with the creation of life again.
It's OK, I am married now, to my best friend, my life, my wife and my world, she blessed me with two children not of my own blood but that does not matter, they are mine, they are so much like me in so many ways, God brought me what I always needed and was missing to have somewhat of a Dad experience, his birthday is only two day before mine, we are the same, he is very smart, he is very motivated and talented, its scary but I know everything and he doesn't realize it or does he, she is beautiful, young, very much like her Mom, strong, successful and motivated. My life growing up in other countries thru the Military life, she has now became a Military woman, so young but so dedicated and driven. She is amazing, just like here Mom. They truly are in so many ways and aspects have parts of me within them, its amazing to witness it, I know what God sent them all to me. He healed me, still broken but saved me.
So circling back, even though I had no choice, blessings still came to me but I still wish you were with me. I never will stop wishing that, To My Unborn Child, I had no choice but I know I chose life, you're fate was in the hands of women in dankness, I had no choice, I will never let go, for the pain is always at my core but I'm with God, he walks with me, he protects me, he guides me and I know I'm with the light. Thru all the pain, blessings still come but I will never let go, I will never forget, My Letter to My Unborn Child.....
I am not a writer, I know my grammar isn't very good but I know how I feel, to create is all I do, all I feel, everyday, so I write it down, personal? Maybe but I have nothing to hide anymore, for I am out of the darkness, I am out of the shame, I am with God, he talks to me, he guides me, and I must get it all out, put it all down and just be one with the Universe, into Cosmos. My purpose, is everything I do, my life has been blessed, my travels have made me that shoulder to cry on and that person to talk to. Thank you for taking the time to read my writings, for I am truly grateful and blessed from all, what is God's will shall be....
Here is another creation, an Art piece I took one of my photo's and turned it into a painting. I'm just out here creating and doing what I love, to be me is to be free. If you want to see more of my work, check out the NFT Showroom and if your interested in joining and supporting all the wonderful Artists from Hive, here is my referral link:
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Also Here is a great book recommendation if you need one. When Science and Faith meets.
If you would like to help me out with my journey's, you can donate to these addresses....
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