This one is quite tricky. It changes every time....
But these days, I seem to be firm with what I want in life. I want my life to revolve around family. I want to put them first beyond anything else because I learned from so many mistakes my family made; they never put family first except my two parents.
Growing up, my life was modest. I learned from my mother that a woman can be a housewife and a businesswoman. She was able to give me proper education, watched me grow, gave me all the attention while she also earned on the side. Sure, it's not much compared to what my father made but their earning combined could afford us a modest life.
As a child, I was encouraged to dream free, to go beyond any boundaries. My parents let me dream as high as I could and to always achieve it no matter the obstacles I may run to. So, I dreamed to change the world.
I dreamed to work at an embassy ever since I was 12 cause I thought it would help my country passport to increase their power index. To stop being seen as a powerless nation without spending power. Truth is, people in my country is a consumer. It is the market of products in south east asia due its population too. So, they definitely have some spending power. More or so, I thought I could work in war zones because those were very interesting to me; the lives in the war zones. Not to mention, growing up there was no woman who works as the foreign minister. It was my dream too, to become the first woman who worked as the foreign minister. Working at an embassy was just the perfect ladder, I thought.
My whole life, I worked myself up towards that goal. I learned so many languages, so many cultures, talked to so many people. I polished my accent, my knowledge, anything that could help me secure a job at the embassy. Then, during my highschool when it was time to choose, I ended up choosing social science despite discovering a newly interest which I was really good at, information and technology. Sure, I did still had that subject and learnt a great deal but that was not my goal. My goal was to work at an embassy.
When it comes to picking major, I tried picking from politics, to languages to international relations to hospitality. I ended up becoming an English major because my teacher said, embassy hires people with that major. As my nature to dream high, I chose the most prestigious university in the country. It was a hugely ambitious for someone in a small town nobody has heard of. But I did. I got accepted into the university where the first woman who works at foreign minister studied and many more people who work at an embassy studied. So, I was definitely closer to my dreams.
But life happened.
I was led astray, confused, and lost. While in this process, I discovered so many new things about myself and how I like my life to be. I don't think I would enjoy traveling around places like my birthmother would, sure I love travel but only occasionally; I'd grew tired of it. I don't think I would do well working for a boss for a long time as from my experience of freelancing these years. Now,on the verge of ruining something I have built my whole life, I learn to see the beauty from it.
I adjusted my dream a little bit more. I want to be a homemaker while also working as a freelance developer and a writer. Perhaps, if I don't have children yet, I would like to apply to teach at a university. I love teaching and I have known to be good at explaining things in layman terms and fun way. I swear, I never wanted to be a teacher but this seemed to be a good idea now.
~ Mac
By the way, these are some of the questions in this blogging challenge. Feel free to join me in this journey.
