A family is more than just a mixed bag of individual people. It is something that takes on its own life and characteristics, sharing the most mundane to the most important things in your life. These are the things that hold it together. Anything that affects your family will definitely affect the whole family in some way.
Things are sometimes solved over a family dinner or a glass of wine and, ever so occasionally, even a cuppa.
Some people believe that birth order has a profound effect in how you manage life psychologically. There are times in my life where I wished my birth order were differently placed. I am not the first child, nor even the third, but, I am the fourth. I never dreamed I would be the go-to sibling, the one who gets the drunk dials in the middle of the night and the guess who died when Prince Phillip passed.
I am one of nine children and I slid into this role, quite silently, almost like a ghost in the night. Perhaps it is because I am willing to keep up with the family history, medical, planning together holidays or events. We are all strewn over the globe, so it is a fun task. These things need to be done, because the strings of family are so easily let go without proper nuturing. Usually it comes when men take a wife. They seem to be better at reaching out to the inlaws and keeping things updated. During the pandemic, I organized zoom while we were all cooking Thanksgiving and opening Christmas. It was a great day and afterwards, we played Yatzee via zoom. You haven't lived until you try it.Big families have more personalities to absorb and sometimes forget about being tolerant of each other. Sometimes they get loud, so they can be heard. In the end, it is always okay, but, I am pretty sure smaller families aren't so loud.
Then again, some days, you just gotta be heard.
I can say that every person in my family feels the same way. If you need me, I'll be there. Sometimes they come in the middle of the night, never to be seen or heard, but, to leave something. My one brother, who is my Irish twin, used to drive trucks for a short time. He would call me when he was within 100 miles of where I lived and I would go out to meet him to have a cup of coffee. Thirty minutes or less and he would be back on the road. It made me feel loved.
I will be the first to say that families can be the biggest thorn on your side if they put their mind to it. They are also the same people who you will call out to when things are great or terrible.I don't have a perfect family, but, they have become perfectly perfect to me. And I love them to pieces.
Little gifts of love, big problems dumped at the dinner table... Devoted and honorable. It's more than I could ask for. The rest of the dust, I just sweep under the carpet, right where it belongs.
Do you have a large family or small? Do you live close or far and what is the best thing about your family? I don't want to hear the worse, that should be under the carpet.
All I have are my words, armed in my mind, written in pen, stand by stand. Oh, yes. Still by hand. It has a different feel. Altered not by keys, backspace, and delete, I write, erase, tear it to pieces and start all over again. And again.
It’s my way. I walk out to the deep end of the page and dive right in.
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The Naming of Cats
The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn’t just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I’m as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
TS Elliot
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