It's probably a cliché to say photos capture memories. They certainly capture images which our brains use years later to piece together memories, but do they really capture memories per se?
My grandmother passed away last night, and of course today has been a roller-coaster for my emotions. But I take comfort in the fact that I got to see her last month for the holidays. She was 94, and every visit always felt like it was the last, but it's still hard to comprehend that that visit truly was the last.
It was a good last visit, almost boring honestly. It amazes me that despite living so far away and only visiting once a year for the last 20 years, I can still slip in and completely relax with my family. Only my nephew makes a fuss about my visits. This visit was normal, not a long painful goodbye.
But I have last memories of her now. How I would always make sure I made some noise when I entered the room so I didn't scare her. How she would lean in her chair and swear she wasn't sleeping. How she could miss entire conversations because she forgot to turn on her "ears". How she insisted on doing dishes. How she would insist I spend time with my mother instead of her. How proud she was of her Christmas tree, with an angel on top that had topped her tree for 75 years, except for the one year she misplaced it and had to shop for a different topper with my mom, which they both agreed was hideous and never to be used again. All her little stories and mannerisms. Her voice. She always had such a distinct voice.
Most of the visit I was sick, so I languished on her couch longing to go outside and play with my new cameras. Of course I couldn't completely control myself. I snapped a few indoor shots, including the one above of her tree.
And I had a fascination with her living room light. It looks like a UFO... I probably took ten photos of it from the couch, in digital and film. She also had a little mirror ball which caught late afternoon sun and sparkled on the ceiling. In color you can almost see the rainbow effects.
I also loved the view out her patio door. It won't change much during future visits, since my whole family still lives there, but that hummingbird was all her.
These don't seem like much, but they are special to me now in a way they weren't just a few days ago. They are little reminders of the last bit of time I had with a very special woman who loved me so much. This is what her world looked like and I'm glad I was able to get just a couple snapshots of it before she left.
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