Do you sometimes get the feeling that people only recognize your existence when they want something from you?
I have been seriously thinking about this and would like to express my views on the subject.
When I think about it, it seems like there is a battle between two sides of human beings: the urge for real connection and self-preservation.
source
On one hand, we all desire meaningful relationships which are based on trust and mutual help. We want to be remembered for making others’ lives better rather than as being just useful to them. However, at times we find ourselves in a situation whereby some individuals come around only because they need something from us.
I have experienced this on both personal and professional levels. It is very disappointing to know that someone whom you thought was your friend can only be calling whenever he or she wants a favor or help with anything. It leaves one with a sense of exploitation and undervaluation while questioning whether the relationship was originally sincere or not.
But amidst all these feelings of disappointment, I have also learnt that human relationships are really complicated. Sometimes people don’t even know that they are only reaching out because they need something. They may genuinely believe that they are maintaining the connection, even if it is driven mainly by their immediate needs.
Well, the trick lies in setting limits and making our expectations clear. It is okay to say no when we feel our kindness is being taken for granted. By asserting ourselves this way, we not only safeguard ourselves but also help others think through how they relate with us.
Again, I believe in the idea of reciprocity. True friendships thrive on give-and-take where both individuals contribute to each other’s welfare. If someone just remembers me when in need of a favor, I attempt to gently remind them about reciprocity within our friendship.
However, what about those cases where it is very obvious that someone is only using us for their own advantage? In such instances, it is vital to determine if continuing the relationship is worthwhile. In some cases, breaking away from noxious or one-sided ties can be the best choice we make for ourselves.
However, I also recognize that there are times when I’ve been culpable of mostly contacting others whenever I require something. It’s a humbling realization but it serves as a reminder to be more mindful about my own behavior and its consequences on others.
Nonetheless, I still believe that being remembered only when needed doesn’t detract from our individual worth. Notably, this highlights how complex human relationships really are and the interplay between people in the society. By creating genuine connections, setting limits and practicing reciprocal behavior; we can maneuver through these social situations with dignity and honor.
If someone remembers of me only when they need something next time, I will respond with sympathy. On the other hand, I will try to remember others not just in times of need but in moments of joy, celebration and all that make up daily life. That is why true connection surpasses transactional exchanges- it is about being there for one another no matter what.