I don't want to get older. Can I just stay kid?

It's not the grey hair, the blotchy skin, the wrinkles, the crows feet that walked off the crows and onto my face.

Ok maybe it is, a little. Maybe I bought my first tub of Retinol yesterday.

And maybe each time I think I'll let the salt and pepper grow out I chicken out and blonde away those distinguished greys before they start leaving an honest impression on anyone.

But it's just vanity. And even though it matters, it doesn't really matter. Not in the grand scheme of things.

Whatever that grand scheme is...
_{(If you already figured out the scheme please don't spoil it for me.)}

It's not the closer to death I don't like. It's not even the age, or, rather, the number I call my age.
42.

FORTY-TWO.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Who cares?
Not little old me.

So what do I care about? What's the big deal about getting older? Besides jowels and moles and root canals and hot flashes?

It's nothing new. The same thing everyone my age complains about:

Time.

It's running out. I'm not going to be able to do everything I want to do unless I exhaust myself trying. And lord knows how much easier it is to exhaust myself these days. It's not fair it's not fair it's not fair it's not fair it's not fair it's not fair it's not fair it's not fair it's not fair it's not fair!

But what can I do? I've heard that in these cases some people will go out and get a very fast car and a very young wife. Does this work? Does it slow down time?

Can you get both these things on Amazon?

What if I don't want these things?

I suppose the best way to have a midlife crisis is to pick the fun things and hope I can still pay the bills every month. Maybe sometimes I won't pay the bills on time.

Who cares?

Not little old me.

I can grow up when I'm dead.

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