Tocar este tema es sumamente difícil y poco agradable para mi, pero haré el intento... Para empezar, la Obesidad Mórbida es una enfermedad en la cual la grasa corporal esta representada por un valor superior al 40% de la composición corporal como consecuencia de trastornos alimenticios principalmente.
Talking about this subject is extremely difficult and not very pleasant for me, but I will try.... To begin with, Morbid Obesity is a disease in which body fat is represented by a value higher than 40% of the body composition as a consequence of eating disorders mainly.
Ahora bien... Durante mi niñez pude disfrutar como cualquier niño normal, era hiperactivo, gracioso, según mis padres siempre tuve afinidad con la música, cosa que recuerdo perfectamente, siempre intentaba tocar los instrumentos que habían en casa y cantaba las canciones que mi papá escuchaba, por lo general los domingos al amanecer, en mi casa reinaba un ambiente musical con temas de La Fania All Star, Jesús Sevillano, Felipe Pirela, The Beatles, Pink Floyd, entre otros, jugaba al fútbol, béisbol, estaba en una academia de Kenpo Karate y me gustaba ir al estadio a ver jugar a los Leones Del Caracas (equipo de béisbol de la Capital de Venezuela).
Now then... During my childhood I could enjoy as any normal child, I was hyperactive, funny, according to my parents I always had an affinity with music, which I remember perfectly, I always tried to play the instruments that were at home and sang the songs that my dad listened to, usually on Sundays at dawn, In my house there was a musical atmosphere with songs by Fania All Star, Jesus Sevillano, Felipe Pirela, The Beatles, Pink Floyd, among others, I played soccer, baseball, I was in a Kenpo Karate academy and I liked to go to the stadium to see the Leones Del Caracas (baseball team of the Venezuelan capital) play.
A medida que pasaba el tiempo, iba creciendo así como también iban creciendo los problemas, ganaba mucho peso y poco a poco disminuían mis actividades físicas hasta llegar al punto de estar en casa encerrado simplemente viendo televisión, jugando algún videojuego de la época o simplemente comiendo comida chatarra.
As time went by, I was growing as well as the problems were growing, I gained a lot of weight and little by little my physical activities decreased until I reached the point of being at home locked up just watching TV, playing some video game of the time or just eating junk food.
Mi adolescencia fue poco agradable, empece a socializar con mis compañeros de liceo y me enamore por primera vez, aun la recuerdo, se llamaba Verónica, Italo-venezolana de mi estatura, pelo negro, sonrisa perfecta, de corazón noble, era perfecta, me encantaba compartir tiempo con ella, reír, bailar, conversar, pero fue difícil porque gracias a ella conocí el primer rechazo, esa frase que se repetiría una y otra vez "lo siento es que solo te quiero como un amigo", inmediatamente después de eso las personas se alejaban de mi. ¿El problema? mi sobrepeso, era "el gordito" y como dicen en mi tierra, era "el pana", ninguna chica me veía como algo mas.
My adolescence was not very pleasant, I began to socialize with my high school classmates and I fell in love for the first time, I still remember her, her name was Veronica, Italian-Venezuelan of my height, black hair, perfect smile, noble heart, she was perfect, I loved to share time with her, laugh, dance, talk, but it was difficult because thanks to her I met the first rejection, that phrase that would be repeated over and over again "sorry I just want you as a friend", immediately after that people moved away from me. The problem? my overweight, I was "the chubby one" and as they say in my country, I was "the corduroy", no girl saw me as something more.
Seguía pasando el tiempo y esos miedos fueron agigantándose hasta el punto de cohibirme de vivir, actos tan simples como amarrar las trenzas de los zapatos era una total odisea. ¿Masturbarme? me cansaba muy rápido, sinceramente no era nada placentero. ¿Tener sexo? era lo peor, era incomodo, de verdad era traumático pensar que no lo estaba haciendo bien, que la otra persona no estuviese disfrutándolo, ese miedo a quedar mal vivía en mi esa sensación de derrota por días.
Time went by and those fears were growing to the point of inhibiting me from living, simple acts such as tying the braids of my shoes was a total odyssey. Masturbating? it tired me very quickly, honestly it was not pleasant at all. Having sex? it was the worst, it was uncomfortable, it was really traumatic to think that I was not doing it right, that the other person was not enjoying it, that fear of looking bad lived in me that feeling of defeat for days.
Ir a comprar ropa era imposible, nada me servia, no habían prendas de mi talla, en realidad ni me molestaba en ver las distintas opciones, todo era mandado a hacer con costureras y sastres mientras drenaba mis ganas de comprar con zapatos, gorras y gadgets tecnológicos.
Going shopping for clothes was impossible, nothing fit me, there were no clothes in my size, in fact I didn't even bother to look at the different options, everything was sent to seamstresses and tailors while I drained my desire to shop with shoes, hats and technological gadgets.
Si me invitaban a salir y tenia que hacer cosas que implicaran moverse, automáticamente y sin pensar mi respuesta era "No gracias". Era frustrante porque ni siquiera intentaba poner de mi parte y hacer algo por mi.
If I was asked out and had to do things that involved moving, automatically and without thinking my answer was "No thanks". It was frustrating because I wasn't even trying to do my part and do something for me.
Viajar en transporte público era una vergüenza siempre ocupaba 2 asientos, ¡no quería perturbar el espacio de nadie!, pero fui objeto de burla, el chiste o la razón de comentarios despectivos de mucha gente. Siempre me considere una buena persona, traté de la mejor manera a todos los que un día me hicieron daño, la gente no sabe que sus palabras pueden convertirse en cuchillos capaces de causar heridas incurables... Lamentablemente muchas de esas heridas siguen afectando mi presente.
Riding public transportation was an embarrassment, I always occupied 2 seats, I didn't want to disturb anyone's space, but I was the object of ridicule, the butt of jokes or the reason for derogatory comments from many people. I always considered myself a good person, I treated in the best way all those who one day hurt me, people do not know that their words can become knives capable of causing incurable wounds... Unfortunately many of those wounds continue to affect my present.
Ser una persona con obesidad mórbida es extremadamente difícil, las batallas internas son enormes, no sabemos por el infierno que atraviesan las personas, por favor no hagas mas duro y tormentoso el camino, tiende tu mano, brinda una sonrisa, un gesto de apoyo o simplemente ignora la situación, hazlo con educación y empatía, pero sobre todas las cosas, siempre hazlo de corazón.
Being a morbidly obese person is extremely difficult, the internal battles are enormous, we do not know the hell that people go through, please do not make the road harder and stormy, reach out your hand, give a smile, a gesture of support or simply ignore the situation, do it with education and empathy, but above all, always do it from the heart.
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