Unexpected Surprise
Even if you've been together for quite a few years, you can suddenly have a moment when your partner surprises you. We had that moment a few weeks ago when my partner suddenly asked me how I would feel about inviting his brother and his wife to come here for a visit.
No Contact For Years
Of course, I have to explain that my partner and his brother have not had any contact for years after various things have happened in the past, which I will not elaborate on. The first contact they had after years of no contact was when his brother unexpectedly showed up on our doorstep shortly after we moved in together. He hadn't told his brother about this move because they were never in touch anyway. His brother had unexpectedly been to his old address, noticed that he no longer lived there, and he moved heaven and earth to find out where his brother had gone.
Tremendous Respect
I had heard a few things from my partner, and I could understand his decision not to have contact. But despite knowing that my partner had suffered from the past, I still had tremendous respect for the fact that his brother had gone to such lengths to find my partner, his brother. And for his desire to keep in touch.
Contact Re-established
Long story short, my partner ran his hand over his heart, and a careful contact between the two brothers re-established. A few times we agreed to meet him and his wife in public places what went well, what was fun and what was planned again.
Fun fact: His brother is married to a woman who has the same first name as me
Corona invaded
Until Corona invaded and everything changed for everyone. Public places had to close and the verdict was for everyone to stay at home as much as possible. Meeting people outside your own household were limited, in short ... a very unfavorable time to meet up.
Email Contact
Both brothers were far from ready to visit each other at HOME, or to invite the other, but they did keep in touch via email. And when my partner started his wood turning hobby and enthusiastically emailed his brother about it, he turned out to have found a real supporter. His brother loved it, was very interested, supported him and had ideas how he could go further with this. My partner was surprised at first, he hadn't counted on so much support, but he liked it. Because he never received that support from his brother. The fact that times change and people also change over the years proves once again.
A Gift For His Brother
My partner also started working on something special for his brother in his "practice" with the wood lathe. His brother is a lawyer and my partner enjoyed making him a wooden judges gavel. He had this surprise ready for several months, and when his brother asked in his last email for pictures of what he had made, my partner thought it was time to give his brother what he had made. I expected that he would want to go somewhere again to meet up, but with the corona measures where you have to test if you want to go somewhere, and show a QR code etc ... my partner decided to ask me if I was okay with him inviting his brother and wife here at home.
Yes Please DO Invite Them Over
And of course I like this! Nice! So my partner emailed his brother, asking if he would like to come here with his wife. Then they could see with their own eyes what he had already made, and that he had also made something especially for him.
Last Saturday it was time. The first time in about 20 years that my partner has actually invited his brother to visit. And the first time his brother and wife would come to our home here. Of course, something had to be arranged.
Lana & Skipper Had To Stay Inside ...
We know that his brother is afraid of big dogs. Oops ... we have 3 dogs in the house that you can not classify as small dogs. We think Myla is a small dog, we don't think Lana is very big either. Okay, Skipper… we can't make anything else out of that. He's our giant. So it was decided that we would sit outside, luckily the weather was still cooperating, and it would be around 25 degrees. Only our little Myla is such a sweet quiet social girl, she was lucky and was allowed to stay outside with us.
Lana and Skipper are just too busy. With Lana outside, you don't even get to talk to your visitors. You're just throwing her ball, and if you don't… then you're just stopping her from throwing her ball onto everyone's lap or on the table. Not really handy when you have visitors.
Skipper has simply seen far too few other people in his young life since he came to live here, which has made him a one-of-a-kind dog who opens up a huge mouth when he first sees strangers, barks and bounces enormously because he finds it scary as hell. But yes, a large German Shepherd that barks and bounces enormously, that is what most people who come to visit also find scary as hell. He needs to be socialized, but not with people who are afraid of big dogs! So better to keep him inside.
Bake A Cake!
But that was of course not all that had to be arranged! You want to be able to offer something when you have visitors. So we had to get groceries. And I wanted to bake a cake! Although my partner did suggest getting something from the supermarket if I thought it was too much trouble to make a cake myself. Are you crazy, man? I like that I now have an opportunity to make something fun myself! After we had been looking for fun and tasty cake recipes together, I decided to make a cake with Oranges … I'll write a blog about that later! Hmmm, it was very tasty!
But most importantly, of course... woodworking.
And the judge gavel my partner had made for his brother.
Success!
The visit was a success. We had a nice chat, got some new insights and new ideas. We have agreed to visit his brother and wife, luckily contact is getting better and better and both brothers are happy that they can talk to each other again. My partner is very happy that after so many years he is finally supported in what he likes, after in the past that support has always been lacking in their relationship as brothers. His brother was visibly moved and very happy with the judges gavel my partner had made for him.