Around noon I had such a big anxiety attack, the worst one I had in a while. My hands started shaking, heart was beating fast, I felt like my stomach was tied up - I went outside to get some fresh air, took some deep breaths and told myself everything will be alright. I managed to calm down a little bit and I knew I need a nature getaway for few hours.
I took a little bit more time just to make sure I am okay to go on a long walk then I packed my bag - beach towel, water, snack, book... put on a snapback and some sunscreen and I was good to go!
I wasn't in a hurry at all and it took me less than one hour to get to my desired location by the water. It was a sunny day with a bunch of fluffy clouds so the scenery was so pretty to look at and I tried to be present in the moment, enjoy the view and such a lovely day.
I was so lucky to come to a completely empty beach and since I am so out of shape, I was quite tired when I finally arrived. I found a nice spot to sit down between the tree you can see on the left photo. There were some people fishing on the far left and just one woman with two kids playing around.
I took some time just to admire the view, catch my breath, have some water and a snack, enjoy the silence and I already felt so much better, my anxiety almost disappeared completely. I always come to this spot when I feel sad, overwhelmed, anxious or I just need some time to re-connect with myself and nature.
Since I was so anxious at home, I skipped my afternoon coffee on purpose as I thought it would only make me feel worse. For a long time now I wanted to take myself out on a date, I really liked the idea and since I am a coffee lover, I always imagined it would be in a cafe in the city but I never really had the courage to make it happen.
As I was reading my book (Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn) I kept my eye on nearby cafe with a nice view, the same one I visited on Monday when my friend came from the city. It wasn't that busy but there were some people in the area where I wanted to sit down - I guess we were all aiming for the best spot. I really liked reading in such an amazing ambience and when I had enough, I though I would move to a bench for a short period of time before I go home. From that bench I had even better view of the cafe and some people were just leaving to I took that as a sign I should go and have my coffee. I managed to find the spot I wanted so I can look at the water, boats, trees and people fishing. :D
To my own surprise, I didn't feel weird at all sitting there by myself, as the matter of fact it felt amazing! I had my back turned to the rest of the cafe on purpose so that probably helped a lot, haha. Since I left home, I didn't have Internet which was also amazing so I couldn't distract myself with Social media and such, I only used my phone to take photos. I pulled out my book again and continued reading while having an espresso and just taking a break to admire the view again.
On my way home, I felt so content and happy, not at all how I felt just few hours before that. I always say that nature is the best therapy which proves to be correct every time I visit this place. I am grateful that is not that far from my home and I should really take every opportunity I get to come here. Maybe I'll even become regular guest at the cafe! :)
When I came home, I was so tired and hungry but I felt so good. After some rest, food and a nice, long shower, some time with the family, I am now writing this post listening to my favorite music and I must say that no matter the outcome of the thing that caused me so much anxiety today, I feel like I will be able to handle it a lot better and with a calm head. Last night I did some stretching under the small lamp light and rain sounds (Calm app) so I will definitely do the same tonight especially after all the walking I did, it will probably be beneficial for my body because like I said, your girl is out of shape! :D I also hope to have a good night sleep and a productive day tomorrow.