What was your position (in terms of birth) in the family? How did that experience help you become, or hinder you from becoming,a successful adult?
myself and two of my elder sisters
I am the fifth child of five children by my parents. You can call me a last born aka baby of the house. Did my position really do anything for me? Now I have to really give it a deep thought before continuing this article.
Growing up as a last child was pretty much lonely and independent. I can say I grew up as an independent child and that alone shaped the kind of person I am today. My immediate elder brother is older than me with six years, so while I was still small they were all leaving home, gaining admission into the university and I was home alone.
While I was still acting fictional dramas with myself and combing hair of doll babies my elder sisters were all adults already, in university and so I played mostly by myself.
The way I grew up dint help me to even acquire friends around my neighborhood because my mum was a ‘stay at home and play’ kind of woman. She did not believe in allowing kids visit each other to play or play in the streets with other kids. The only time I got to interact were the few times I went to fetch water when water supply in our compound was bad. My mom would say;
’the play you play in school with friends is enough’
I had friends in school no doubt but when I got home I was a loner. I also started house chores pretty early because it was just myself and my mum and dad, so I did most of the work, sweeping, cleaning, washing plate, going on errands and when the time came cooking too as well as going to the market for my mom or with my mom.
I slowly became an independent person, in actions and in mind. I remember when I gained admission into the university my parents did not follow me to check out the school hostel I got for myself unlike my siblings who they followed to school, my brother especially I remember my mum going with him the day he moved into school to just make sure he was going to be safe. The day I brought up this particular question my mom said to me
you have always had things under control, you did not seem to me as a child who needed assistance, I believed you could sort things out yourself and the say I came for your matriculation I saw for myself that you knew what you were doing
Truth be told I always have things under control as much as I can, and I have always been too responsible for my own liking sometimes. I guess it all boils down to the fact that I learnt to take care of myself and I things on my own as a child, you would think as a last born I was pampered spoilt but that wasn’t the case at all.
myself my dad and two of my elder sisters
Thinking back now as I write this article, my parents did have a lot of trust and faith in me doing things by myself. Most of the things I did, places I went, my parents only gave permission and I found my way there.
This brings to mind the time I went all the way to another university in another state to write their Post UTME exams. I went alone, I did not know anyone in the state or in that school but there I was on a journey I did not know it’s destination but somehow I found a place to stay and I write the exam and I went back to base in one peace. I saw other people’s parents waiting in cars for their children to finish writing the exam. Although I wasn’t the only one whose parents did not follow, it gave me a sense of responsibility.
So yes, to answer the question I asked as I began this article, did my position as a last child really do anything for me?
Yes it did
It made me responsible
I matured quickly
I gained more respect from my family even though am the last child you should the see the way my siblings cherish my opinion on matters and ask for my inpute, the way we relate you wouldn’t know some of them are older to with with ten and eight years.
I learnt to be independent really early and that has shaped the woman I am today, independent in thought, in buisness, with money.
It also had another impact on me as till today I am still very much a loner. Do I have a few friends, yes I do and most of them stay really far from the state I am and so we are what I call, social media friends now because of our current residence situations. I can stay in my house for weeks and not come out execept to run errands or when husband man says we should go out on a date or a function.
I can be in my house and my neighbors won’t know am home, do I like being a loner, no, but friendship these days is even hard and now seeming dangerous so it’s best to keep a small circle. Plus my sisters are my comfort anytime I need to gist or share something personal so I can say am okay with that.
Some of the things we think we have gone through in life is actually what forms the life we would lead as adults, it’s either they teach us to be a better person or teaches us on the kind of person we do not want to be.