The thought of losing someone closer to me frightens me Wishing you had been a better person, wishing you had checked upon the person, wishing you had paid attention to every little detail you were told by the person. The pain never goes away we just have to believe that it's what we can't control and try to live with it. When I was little and my grandma left us, I wasn't myself all through the burial ceremony. I was sick because of crying too much, she was so good to me and I was her favorite grandchild, also when my friends lost someone very dear to them, the pain I felt was excruciating seeing them cry and almost falling into depression.
I remember when I was growing up, I didn't know what was happening to my mom, she was okay but all of a sudden she started giving up telling my dad to take care of us. I was crying and praying silently, I was little and didn't know what was happening but with prayers, she was able to overcome. A lot of things could have happened but God showed mercy.
This year, my nephew of 4 years had heart surgery in Italy and my mom went with him. The doctor said it was a 50/50 chance (half chance of surviving and a half chance of not), It wasn't a funny situation. After the doctors had done the surgery, my mom called to tell us that it was successful and not quite long, she called again and started crying that she didn't know what was wrong and that he wasn't breathing, the doctor said he was in a coma and they told her to go home and wait because she was crying and disturbing the peace of the hospital.
Every time we called her, she was always crying that they still hadn’t called her back to the hospital, the pain we were feeling is not something I can put into writing but thank God he woke up stronger and healthier. I haven't seen someone in the hospital with different wires connected to his body, I have only seen it in movies, there was no space to even touch when I saw his picture.
I also remember my elder brother narrating his ordeal. We were trying to reach my brother one night because his wife was about to give birth but we couldn't reach him, he was working with the electoral commission during an election and they weren't done till late in the night. He was adamant about coming home that night to see his wife through labor and child birth, he fell into the hands of gunmen in the vehicle while on the road but he was able to struggle with them and ran for his life. When he came home he was barefooted, he had to trek through the bushes till he got home that night.
A lot of things could have gone wrong for my loved ones but they had the grace of God to struggle and fight without stopping, knowing how painful the scar they would leave behind. I will always fight and pray for a miracle to happen one way or the other to make sure I stay with my family. I want to have a chance to care of my parents like they did for me, and I want to see them grow older, I don't want to miss any part of being an adult and getting old.
Thanks for reading