Hi everyone, hope you are doing great in your various places. The questions we have here are for this another edition of #LOH contest #84 are really amazing but I will go for question one.
What was your position (in terms of birth) in the family? How did that experience help you become, or hinder you from becoming, a successful adult?
I came from a polygamous family, my dad have two wives where mum is the second wife.
My dad have thirteen children where I happened to be in the ninth position from my dad and from my mum I was the second child.
As you all know, in polygamous family the second wife are always to blame for stealing another woman's husband but my mum case is different because it's not what she wants, the marriage was an arranged one and she have to do her father's wish.
And it's really affect me and my siblings a lot because the step siblings don't really like us like that , any single mistake and they will beat us as if we are their enemy. It reach a level where my grandma asked me to come and stay with her because she can't take it anymore but all of us can't stay with her. I was the only one that stay with her because I was always the center of all the argument. And for that, I always blame my maternal grandfather for forcing my mum to marry an already married man.
The first wife didn't accept the second wife and the husband did not do the right thing. There is no equality in it and the second wife suffer the most.
I have to stay with my paternal grandma since the age of 8 and the fear of going to spend the holidays with my mum is not what I can describe, so I stopped going for an holiday and stay with me my grandma.
Staying with old grandma who is overprotective, you can't go out because it is always dangerous, you can't cross the road to avoid accident,I don't have access to any thing, if I have assignment I have to do it myself even if it is not correct because I won't be allowed to go out and my grandma is illiterate and that turned me to an introvert. No social gathering or so, always me and my grandma when I come back from school.
I even tried to learn fashion designer and have that as a skill but no, she won't allow that complaining that I will be coming back late. That got me thinking that if I was with my parents it will be easy but I was not needed there, but nevertheless I love my grandma because she was my everything until she died.
After she died I was asked to come and stay with my parents but I can't do that because I was not wanted in the first place and I know what my siblings are facing, so I told them that I prefer living alone. Since then, I have been living alone, working for all the penny I spent because no allowance come from home, I have to work for money to support my younger ones and have no time to learn a skill and no one to support me and I just have to study a little and work more.
I only get the chance to learn little about fashion designer when I got married because it's something I love but I still have to stop when I gave birth.
You see, the position Someone hold in the family have great impact in their success, sometimes I always wish I was the last born and not in a polygamous family.
Some polygamous family doesn't take impact in others life, but imagine a polygamous family where they are not well off.
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