I salute all the amazing ladies in this lovely community of ladies empowering ladies, I feel good to be here, Going through the previous context, i see that there is more to enjoy as a lady on hive and i have to be part of the LOH context #107, sharing with you my unbending date rules, as i make my entry for the week context LOH #107.
What is a date?:
A date for me is unique time or an appointment to meet with someone at a specific time and location or to go out with someone, especially a person with which you are having feeling for, or someone you are beginning to build something for, like in a romantic relationship.
I will be sharing a few rules of mine that can not be bended but i will also want you to know that some can be bended as well but when it comes to this few, its non negotiable, it will not be in sequential order but randomly.
Don't invest On Past Dates:
I know that many persons do like to spent more time talking about their past relation, trying to dick out what was good or bad, but for me i only think you can mention a thing about it while passing through but spending time on that is a no go area for me, there is no need for those memories to be played again and again, because if they were good for you , you would been there but as long as you still having so much to do with the past, it therefore means that you have not gone over them but still in them. more so it gives the impression that you would better be somewhere else than here, for me you must avoid it totally, especially on the first date. I most also say here that it is good for me that you avoid a talk about any other date you have had but give all attention and focus on the now.
Give Value and attention to body Languages:
Body language for me is very important, its speaks volume and i do give attention to it than even the multiple words spoken on the date, you must agree with me that as far as humans are concerned, over 90% of our effective communications are non-verbal. so for me you really need to mirror the body languages, this many times are done unconsciously but it is important to engage it consciously.
Like i said you must give value to it, and you do that by politely and directly matching lovely gestures, as well as movements that will copy your date's body language, in smiles, hand gestures and positioning yourself to reciprocate the transmitted signals, to help establish the connection.
Avoid Conversation That Turn Into A Debate
it is very possible that you and I do have different belief system, could be due to your religious, political or even ethnic background, so many things may be different about the two of us, which is very possible but engaging in a conversation that lead to arguments is something that i can not ben to or subscribe for, many persons may consider this rule only in a first date but for me, its non-negotiable in any of my date.
I do not have any issue with my date being passionate about his belief, field and discipline not withstanding, I totally respect his beliefs but allowing it to be a subject of argument is something i will not back gain for, any time any day.
it is possible that we both do have conflicting views on certain matters especially with the matters of the heart, so will prefer that we have a way to communicate it without stirring up arguments. Arguments on a date will give birth to possibilities that will not be appreciated by the both parties at the end.
Do not order what you can't afford to pay for
I do know a few friends of mine who will really want to impress their date but i don't see that as something to subscribe for, no matter how am into that person or want to impress them, there is no need to drain your servings just to wine and dine, in other to create an impression of who you are not, if that happens you will always be under pressure to live to expectation, so do what you can so that you can continue doing it again when ever it is needed. having a good date is not necessarily costly, so have you day full of funs but make it your way and at your level.
Listen More, Talk less:
The truth is that if you talk too much, you give a wrong impression of yourself, the best thing to do is to give your ears to listen, it is more important for me to listen and pay good attention to what your date is saying, when you are able to do that, it shows that am interested in what ever my date is saying, for me it is very key and i have seen it work for me, when i give more attention to my date, i can hear the voice of the heart as i carefully listen, i can tell when the words are from the dept. of the heart.
one of my friends once told me that he appreciate my ability to listen before saying, it speaks of being teachable, it has often help me to know what to say and what to do at the right time. At any time i find myself struggling to listen carefully while am on a date, it means that there is something that makes the individual not interesting to me, but if i can do the listening, even my date will also give me attention if i say anything to him, or try to draw his attention.
Thanks so much for the opportunity to share here in the #ladiesofhive community and to be part of the amazing work that ladies are doing to see that other ladies are empowered on the hive blockchain. Am grateful @lady-tee