Hello, beautiful Ladies of Hive! Hope you’re all having or had a wonderful day. I love the questions presented to us by @merit.ahama. And I’ll be answering the first one.
1️⃣ Why are there so many people who are lonely? Why is it so hard for people to make real connections when almost everyone wants to make real connections?
I’ll admit, answering this was simple but also hard. Simple in the sense that these are things most of us are going through every day but hard in the sense that we still haven’t been able to find the most accurate answers to them. It’s something that we may know the answers to, but for some reason, can’t implement it.
I’ll treat them in two parts.
Why are people lonely?
I think the average person comes into the world with just one request from people. That they’re understood. If you walk up to a couple and ask, for instance, the girl, the simple reply you’ll mostly get is, “It’s because he understands me.” In other words, “He gets me.” People are lonely because they haven’t found that person or those people who get them. That is why, you may have a loving group of friends, families, and loved ones but sometimes you distance yourself and say “they won’t get it.” We may have all the affection in the world but sometimes we just feel so lonely. We feel misunderstood. We mentally search for someone who would simply Get us.
There were a few times I felt so down, and I remember going through my contacts, searching for someone, anybody that I felt would get me, that would understand me and take me out of my loneliness. And when it didn’t look like there was a single person, I’d cry myself to sleep.
I know that the feeling of loneliness is most times a fleeting emotion, which is why sometimes even doing the things we love may not suffice. During these bleak times, it’s only the affection shown by a person who understands us that can take us out of it.
Why is it hard to make real connections?
Without a doubt, everyone wants to make real connections. But sometimes, we go about it the wrong way which is what makes us unsuccessful in that feat.
The first reason is Not Being True to Oneself. I once heard something from a pastor and it got to me. He asked why we look for other halves. Why do we search for people to complete us? And said, it’s because we see ourselves as incomplete, that is why we’re unable to connect with people. We’re supposed to see ourselves as full. We’re to work hard towards becoming the best version of ourselves possible. And when we do that, we would find not the person that would complete us, but one that would support us with so much love, it spills over.
The next is, Not Freeing ourselves from the scars of the past and those of other people.
A single wrong encounter with the wrong person is usually enough to scar most people for life. And in some cases, we could get scarred by the experiences of others. We see one person who loved with everything she had, putting her all into a relationship but things still go ridiculously south. And so, we resolve in our hearts that it’s impossible to make real connections.
The truth is, we can never completely know the true intentions of a person. And if we keep letting the scars of the past or other people inhibit us, we may never make real connections. The best way to deal with it is to never stop trying. Yes, we’ve been wounded by the selfish acts of people, but we don’t let it keep us down. We try again and again, staying true to ourselves and working on becoming the best we could be. Breaking down those walls we built to protect ourselves slowly and steadily and not letting them blind us from seeing the good ones. There’s no doubt that we’ll one day find it. And when it’s real, it never goes.
Oh my God, I may start to cry soon.😅 A big thank you once again to the Ladies of Hive community for yet another opportunity to express ourselves. Let’s keep growing together.❤️
