How Do You Know You're In Love?
Writing on this particular topic filled me with nostalgia. For the first time in a long while, I reminisced about the first time I had fallen in love and what it had been like for me. It was a rather delicate moment because it was the first time I’d ever experienced that phenomenon called love. I’ve felt other emotions many times though. Crushes? Yes. Infatuation? Sure. Obsession? Most definitely. So since love was a one-time thing for me at the time, it’s easy to remember the signs that told me I was in love.😍
I’m most times a very indifferent person. I usually have this “I honestly couldn’t care less” emotion when it comes to my dealings with guys If I text and a guy doesn’t reply, or I make a funny comment about something he posts on his status and there’s no reaction, it doesn’t bother me. And most times I don’t even notice. This was why the very first sign that made me realize that I was falling in love with this guy was that when he didn’t reply to my texts immediately, it bothered me. It bothered me a great deal. I was agitated, and almost near tears, questioning myself on what I must have done wrong. And then when he'd finally replied, the almost palpable sense of relief and peace started making me wonder.🤔
The next sign was that I wanted to speak to him every day or many times a day if possible. I find it hard to call or even return calls most times, but in his case, I was going out of my way to make sure that I always had airtime to call him or return his calls on the rare occasions that I missed them. Talking about silly things and literally nothing in particular.☺️
Another sign was how my face usually lit like a bulb when he walks into a place I’m in. There was even an occasion when one of my female friends caught me staring at him like he was the best thing since Jesus’ coming. She said “Gee Tess, get a grip on yourself. That sheepish smile of yours could light an entire street.” A very mortifying moment I must say.😂🤦🏽♀️
And lastly, being completely free with him. Every lady knows that no matter how comfortable you get with a guy, there are some attributes of yours you really mustn’t let show. (don’t pretend now girls)😏And for someone like me that is the true definition of a ‘hard woman,' seeing how soft and laid back I was with him just cleared all doubts. And so I finally decided to cease my self-denial, put two and together and gasped myself. “Damn, I’m in love with him.”😂
Does Love Come On Suddenly Or Grows Over Time?
And no, love doesn’t come in suddenly to me at all. I might have that initial physical attraction, but after one conversation, I’d know if there’s a possibility of anything happening and if there is, I’ll study your character, know the things you attach value to and if all of that is pleasing to me, love could now come in. In my one and only case, what was the clincher was his genuine kindness to people, not just me. A kind of person that says “let’s see how we can solve it.” Not “ I hope you sort it out eventually.”
Keys To Ensuring A Strong & Healthy Relationship
First off has to be Proper Communication for me. I know most ladies really just wish these guys are mind readers and can know what we need without having to mention, but unfortunately, they’re not. (A really sad fact though😅) When you’re mad or uneasy about something relating to him, let him know. Communicate regularly and make sure there is no lapse in conversation unintentionally.
Second, Be Spontaneous. Both of you can’t be rigid, by-the-book people at all times. Going out of the normal schedule or routine between you guys and doing something unexpected but fun will go a long way in keeping the relationship strong and spicing it up too.
And last for now, will be Keeping Sexual Relations on a Minimum. It might be different for a lot of people, and there could be a lot of controversy on this. But I feel it could complicate things. And also make me feel insecure like when he asks to see me on Monday, I’d be feeling that maybe he doesn’t want to see me cause he misses my company, but because he knows that other things would come into play. This is just my opinion though.
Anyways, love is an inexhaustible topic. But I’m happy to have been able to share my feelings with you all beautiful ladies. I hope you all remain happy and let me use this wonderful opportunity to wish you all a very.....