How Do You Know You're In Love?
Writing on this particular topic filled me with nostalgia. For the first time in a long while, I reminisced about the first time I had fallen in love and what it had been like for me. It was a rather delicate moment because it was the first time Iād ever experienced that phenomenon called love. Iāve felt other emotions many times though. Crushes? Yes. Infatuation? Sure. Obsession? Most definitely. So since love was a one-time thing for me at the time, itās easy to remember the signs that told me I was in love.š
Iām most times a very indifferent person. I usually have this āI honestly couldnāt care lessā emotion when it comes to my dealings with guys If I text and a guy doesnāt reply, or I make a funny comment about something he posts on his status and thereās no reaction, it doesnāt bother me. And most times I donāt even notice. This was why the very first sign that made me realize that I was falling in love with this guy was that when he didnāt reply to my texts immediately, it bothered me. It bothered me a great deal. I was agitated, and almost near tears, questioning myself on what I must have done wrong. And then when he'd finally replied, the almost palpable sense of relief and peace started making me wonder.š¤
The next sign was that I wanted to speak to him every day or many times a day if possible. I find it hard to call or even return calls most times, but in his case, I was going out of my way to make sure that I always had airtime to call him or return his calls on the rare occasions that I missed them. Talking about silly things and literally nothing in particular.āŗļø
Another sign was how my face usually lit like a bulb when he walks into a place Iām in. There was even an occasion when one of my female friends caught me staring at him like he was the best thing since Jesusā coming. She said āGee Tess, get a grip on yourself. That sheepish smile of yours could light an entire street.ā A very mortifying moment I must say.šš¤¦š½āāļø
And lastly, being completely free with him. Every lady knows that no matter how comfortable you get with a guy, there are some attributes of yours you really mustnāt let show. (donāt pretend now girls)šAnd for someone like me that is the true definition of a āhard woman,' seeing how soft and laid back I was with him just cleared all doubts. And so I finally decided to cease my self-denial, put two and together and gasped myself. āDamn, Iām in love with him.āš
Does Love Come On Suddenly Or Grows Over Time?
And no, love doesnāt come in suddenly to me at all. I might have that initial physical attraction, but after one conversation, Iād know if thereās a possibility of anything happening and if there is, Iāll study your character, know the things you attach value to and if all of that is pleasing to me, love could now come in. In my one and only case, what was the clincher was his genuine kindness to people, not just me. A kind of person that says āletās see how we can solve it.ā Not ā I hope you sort it out eventually.ā
Keys To Ensuring A Strong & Healthy Relationship
First off has to be Proper Communication for me. I know most ladies really just wish these guys are mind readers and can know what we need without having to mention, but unfortunately, theyāre not. (A really sad fact thoughš ) When youāre mad or uneasy about something relating to him, let him know. Communicate regularly and make sure there is no lapse in conversation unintentionally.
Second, Be Spontaneous. Both of you canāt be rigid, by-the-book people at all times. Going out of the normal schedule or routine between you guys and doing something unexpected but fun will go a long way in keeping the relationship strong and spicing it up too.
And last for now, will be Keeping Sexual Relations on a Minimum. It might be different for a lot of people, and there could be a lot of controversy on this. But I feel it could complicate things. And also make me feel insecure like when he asks to see me on Monday, Iād be feeling that maybe he doesnāt want to see me cause he misses my company, but because he knows that other things would come into play. This is just my opinion though.
Anyways, love is an inexhaustible topic. But Iām happy to have been able to share my feelings with you all beautiful ladies. I hope you all remain happy and let me use this wonderful opportunity to wish you all a very.....