Eternal the love you feel for them, eternal every sleepless night, eternal the responsibility to provide them with a happy childhood that gives them tools for their adult life, eternal what children bring to you and me who are mothers.
Being a mother is a beautiful experience for some women, however there are those who became mothers without wanting to (single mother), and there are others who have tried all their lives to be one without achieving it, others and in that group I enter that motherhood fell like a ring on their finger and came to add to my life reasons and energies to live it.
I wanted to bring this reflection and make them see that not all women have to be a mother, for a woman not having children does not have to be synonymous with unhappiness or weirdness, they are not condemned to loneliness forever.
I also put on the mat that what is normal for me does not have to be for everyone, this post is a call to awareness about manners and values in reference to what you should ask any woman, because not everything that comes to mind in your head you can inquire.
Every woman has her priorities and desires in life and they don't have to be the same. And that's why single mothers are no less women than another one who has children with a husband next door. The social stigmas on that issue are the ones that exert the social pressure. They label you as daring for being a single mother, but still if you also decide not to have children they do it anyway.
The marital status established of single-mother does not make a mother, they make her when she flourishes with the invisible bonds (bonds of love) that unite you with her children and are stronger than anything your mind can imagine.
Here is my advice for you to continue being a mom in every way.
I consider that for the most part we are all good mothers we want the well-being of them (children) to provide them with security, independence, values, love, understanding. Despite the adversities of the defects you may have (you are a human being) never forget it.
And when they ask you are you a single mom? And what are you going to do? By when? As if living as a couple is the only marital state of human normality or as if couples sell them on the corner, or as if once you have a partner comes with an eternity contract to raise children.
You answer them I don't have a partner but “I'm NOT ALONE”.
Tell them that you lead an ordinary life, I am raising my sons, that you feel comfortable where and how you are, and that maybe you are not available for now, because it is not true..."You are Raising and under Construction.”
Women let's leave the machismo internalized in the patriarchal society in which we live.
On the other hand are there people who ask the single mother if she carries the father's surname? this kind of questioning is sarcasm!. The point is, how unfair it is that they ask that to a single mother as if the woman did not have enough merits and honor for her child or children to bear her maternal surname with dignity if her father did not want to give it to her
With everything we do to be moms, in all the stages that we live alone or accompanied we live life the same. And yet ,we do it the best we can, we know, and we learn with the children whether they have the paternal surname or not.
In the upbringing of your children being a mom…
It is okay to feel bad from time to time, ask for help, love, understanding do not isolate yourself emotionally from your loved ones. On those difficult days remember to be compassionate and kind to yourself, take the time to go at your own pace and be with yourself, first of all you are still a woman.
We celebrate all year round be a mother, woman, sister, wife, loving daughter in all your roles. Sometimes as human beings it is difficult for us to look through the other side of the prism glass, other than our own, to have the ability to nod and understand!.
In the blink of an eye, the beauty of motherhood makes us forget that we are women in essence and that we were wonderfully created to be so, without forgetting one reason or another.
MY SOCIAL NETWORKS
Icons by: Icofinder
Any images in this post are edited with Canva
Translation with |DeepL