We had a family occasion a few years ago, one that we were worried about not being able to handle but turned out to be the opposite. It was fun, laughter-filled, lots of dancing and singing and there was even groups of local bands performing. The neighbors and the whole community helped in the preparation then partied with us, ate, drank booze.
On the evening of the main day (the event lasted for two nights and a day), my sister and I were in the living room at the other house resting and chatting about how unexpected the occasion is turning out to be. We were ecstatic and happy that none of the things we have been stressed about happened. We were teasing each other that we actually were worrying of nothing when the door opened with two gentlemen helping my 24 year-old niece come in. She was crying and spurting random stuff. It was our first time seeing her drunk.
As she sat on the couch, she said some things that shocked both her mom and I...
Little did we know that she had been suffering alone for so long a time. She's introverted and preferred being alone, locking herself up inside her bedroom and would get mad if someone bothers her. That night however, she let loose and told us how many times she thought about doing things to herself. Only then that we learnt she was suffering from depression to the point of being suicidal. She was really close to the edge.
My sister and I cried not knowing what to do and just kept hugging her and saying we were sorry. We absolutely had no idea about how to comfort her and to make her let out everything. We were able to calm her for a while but she burst out again and we got really scared so we called her father who was clueless of what was happening. He was not able to do something too and we had no other option but to call our parents who were with some guests at their house next door.
Upon seeing my niece wrestling with her father, Dad said a little prayer then touched her forehead gently saying "if it is too painful, sleep and rest for a while and we will talk when you wake up."
My niece got quiet and sobbed herself to sleep, resting her head on her father's lap. While people out the covered yard were having fun, we were in complete mess (emotionally) at the house. My sister crying her eyes out, blaming herself not knowing what her daughter had been going through all those years.
We got an ounce of scolding too from Dad which made us feel grateful of how they had been giving their full attention to us during our youth which my sister seem to have missed applying to her own kids. Although they were able to provide them with all the material and financial support, they lacked time and real attention.
From the above personal experience, you'd readily know that I'm not a good advocate for a loved one or a friend who might be dealing with mental health concerns. I can lend my shoulders for them and can be a good listener too, but I'm utterly clueless of how to respond nor whom to contact for help except for my parents.
But thanks to the 100th Edition of the LOH challenge, I'm learning a lot from others through their posts. I'd like to invite @ayane-chan to check this challenge out.
By the way, my niece is doing better and now living with our parents. She recently started her own business and happily reported while visiting me here days ago that she's loving what she does and no plan of returning to the city in the foreseeable future. She's now more open and according to Mom, she is not locking herself up in her room. I believe she's in good hands being with our old folks.