There's a saying that goes "you can not have it all". At a point in our lives, we have said it to someone or someone has told us. It's often accompanied by examples. "See that girl now, she's very fine and brilliant but has no curves". I believe that as human beings we also know there are some things we lack. There are certain things we aren't proud of and try to hide it. We all have insecurities about different things. It varies from physical appearance to our jobs, personal characters, etc. Insecurities can be seen as normal but they can have adverse effects on us.
I've battled with low self-esteem in the past because of the insecurities I had concerning how I looked. I'm a small girl, 5"3 with a weight not more than 55kg. Back in 2019, I weighed lesser than that and it made me feel so bad. I didn't have big boobs or a fat ass. I wasn't thick like my friends. People around me made me feel worse about it with their constant body shaming. I stopped taking full pictures and avoided wearing clothes that brought out my figure. I was also insecure about other things like my voice, fingers, and head. It was the kind of insecurity that made me feel small. In a room full of people, I'd cower in a corner so I don't attract attention because I was scared someone might see the ugly reflection that stare back at me ln the mirror. Mind you, I'm really pretty, eloquent and smart but it didn't help.
I'm not this person anymore because I decided that I had had enough. I wasn't going to keep wishing I look like someone else. Now I'm bold, and there's nobody that can make me feel bad about how I look because I have done the work. IT WAS NOT EASY. In this article, I'll be sharing some tips that were helpful to me.
The first thing is acceptance. There are certain things you cannot change about yourself. You can't change your nose or head or your voice. So you have to accept this fact. It's until you are in acceptance, you can learn to love them. I hated the shape of my head so much. One day I just woke up and the realization dawned on me that it was going to be like that and there was nothing I could do about it. To make my head more appealing to me, I did only hairstyles that made it less obvious. Now, I can not relate to ever feeling that way about the shape of my head. If it's something you can maneuver your way around, then go ahead.
It is important to also note that you're more than how you look. Beauty standards have fed us with faux ideas and expectations of how our bodies should look. We are expected to have an hourglass figure, slim waist, flat stomach, and even-toned skin. If we don't have these things, we don't fit into the category of beautiful women. But your belly folds, stretch marks, and acne are okay. You are human and not a robot so it's normal. One thing about beauty standards is that they are always changing. The most important thing is to be healthy. Don't let society diminish your worth to your physical appearance. Whatever you do, do it for yourself and pleasure not because society demanded it from you.
Additionally, you should surround yourself with positive people and stay far away from the toxic company. It's important to be around people who will always encourage and compliment you. If your association is verbally abusive, it would be hard to come out of that hole. On the days you're coming out, they will be around to push you deeper into it.
Another helpful point is self-affirmation. Always say good things to yourself every time. Remind yourself that you're beautiful, worth more than riches, amazing and that you look perfect. Look at yourself in the mirror and speak it until you believe it. It should be a daily mantra. Replace healthy words with the cruel things you say to yourself.
Be that as it may, it is important to note that it takes time. The journey to Self-acceptance is never easy. On some days, you feel great and on others, you're back to square one. But that doesn't mean you should give up. Like everything in life, you have to be consistent to get what you want and with time, you'll become successful.
Stop the comparison. You are not them. You are your own person, unique and special in your own way. Instead of comparing yourselves to others, learn to love your imperfections.
Conclusively, we should all learn to be kind. You have no idea how those " playful" words can be detrimental to someone's self-esteem. How a person looks, talks, and earn is not your business. People can see they have gained weight, they know they have lost weight, and they see the acne. They see themselves every day and are fully aware hence there's absolutely no need for your unsolicited advice and opinions. Body shaming is terrible and if you do it jokingly or in an attempt to hurt someone's feelings, that makes you a terrible person.
