Go blog and show me the three ghosts and the message to all scrooges! Ladiesoffive contest #108

Hello ladies,

The tekst on this image is so true, translated it means as much as A smile at defeat is a final victory. Source Image

Are you ready?

Here I am again, now with the 3 spirits that have been important to me in my life! This is not easy, I might even say that this is a difficult question from @brittandjosie. It difficult, because in my life there have been, and still are, more than 3 good spirits, who are very important to me. Because as long as we cherish those ghosts, they will never really be gone!!


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My Grandma, a very strong woman

The 1st important positive spirit for me was my grandmother, my mother's mother! She was a very strong woman with a strong opinion of her own and she let it be heard too. She became a widow at a young age. She had 6 children at that time. And that certainly won´t have been easy for her in the 1930s. She fell in love with a servant, who sometimes came to help her with the work on the farm after doing his own work in the quarry. He was 23 years old then. And that was 17 years younger than my grandma. Despite that big age gap they fell in love. At that time, a great shame! Yet they never cared about this, at least not as far as we know and she married the man she loved. He was my grandfather! After they got married, they had 2 more children together, twins, of which my mother was 1.

Age is just a number

She always said, girl age doesn't matter, that's just a number, more important is that you are happy with your partner, and it doesn't matter if it's a woman or a man!

She was born in 1893, but she was very modern in her thinking and behavior. Together they were happy for 53 years. And it was actually my grandfather who passed away. My grandma had to deal a second time with the loss of her beloved husband. It was then that she herself had chosen to move to the retirement home, at the age of 89, the time had come. She lived there for another 10 years before she left this earth, peaceful in her sleep at the age of 99.

We were told later that she went to church in the retirement home in the morning, then went to eat and take a nap, and asked the caretakers to wake her up before the children would come. After all, it was Sunday, ;-) So when the caretakers came at half past one, she was, it seemed, still sound asleep, but she had died in her sleep.



My grandparents at their 50th wedding anniversary

My sweet gentle mom and strong dad, my rock!

Then we move on to my 2nd major spirit(s). And that's my mom and dad. A quiet, strong man, who didn´t complain and certainly didn´t talk too much. My dad was usually a quiet man. For me, he was an important support and my rock. Someone to lean on, and someone to respect. Especially because my mother, who was super sweet and very gentle, spent a lot of time with my sister. She had poor eyesight from her earliest childhood and was bullied about that at school.

So my father was a sounding board for me. Even more so because I had my tantrums, which were recognizable to him and in which he could and was allowed to guide me. No matter how sweet I thought my mother was, she could not curb my temper, because I didn't allow her to do so. It may sound a bit mean, but at that age, I just didn´t respect my mom as much as I respected my dad. My dad was not often at home, because he was the breadwinner and often went to do odd jobs in the evenings to earn extra money so that we, my mother, sister, and I were not short of anything.

My mother was sickly for as long as I can actually remember, with bronchitis, always coughing and vomiting. In 1978 she had an operation, and it was a very serious operation. 3/4 of one of her lungs was removed in that surgery. I remember when she was in the hospital with all kinds of tubes through her nose, IVs, and everything you can think of. It looked very scary to us... This was quite a traumatic time for my sister and me, we often did not want to go to the hospital because we found it so scary. Years later I am glad that my father forced us to go with him with a soft hand, so we both have become more hardened and can handle more when people are sick. Lying in the hospital has lost its “tightness and anxiety” for us. Especially because those were certainly not the only times my mother was in the hospital. She spent a lot of time in the hospital in her short life.

Certainly in the last years of her life, which were not easy because at that time my father was also ill, terminally ill. And that was hard for her. She, who had always been sickly, had to let go of her rock, and that was hard, both for her and for us. For mom, it turned out impossible. She became depressed by my father's death, which meant that my sister and I didn't get to mourn our father, but had to take care of our mother, who was now in the hospital more often than she was at home, and when she was at home, it was very hard for my sister in particular, who also lived at home.

They taught us to keep fighting in life if we want to achieve something.

But if can conclude with something positive about these two spirits, it is that they have taught us to keep fighting in life if you want to achieve something, don't give up quickly, because there are always there are some bright spots somewhere. That makes life beautiful! Enjoy every day because you never know when it will be your last (and that's a good thing)!



Mom and dad on their wedding day

The love from and for my dogs teaches me to be a better version of myself!

And the third and fourth spirits are my dogs! My dogs have taught me to love animals as they are and make it easier for me to appreciate and accept people as they are. Where Micky, my deceased dog, was very affectionate, but at the same time quite stubborn, he helped me through difficult times, just by always being there for me, unconditionally.



Micky

Gentle is my current dog, she is more on her own, not as cuddly as Micky used to be. But she feels very well how my moods are, when I'm about to explode, she senses that, and then, when my partner is home, she goes to him for support. When he's not home, she comes to me and insists on being with me, as closely as possible, ;-) And she always makes me laugh in her own way. So she also teaches me to distract myself from stressors and to learn to control myself better.



Gentle

Here you have been given a glimpse into my personal good spirits, and like a true Scrooge I have already had the opportunity to learn a lot from my good spirits. I can only hope that I will always keep what I have learned with me, and that I may remember and receive even more wise lessons from my personal good spirits.

Thank you for reading my blog and see you again soon!