Greetings🙏🥰 and a happy new month to you. Please, welcome back to my blog while I answer one of this week's Ladies of hive community contest dear, @merit.ahama thank you for providing us with such a thought-provoking question. As loneliness is a serious issue in our society.
Why are there so many lonely people? Why is it so hard for people to make real connections when almost everyone wants to make real connections.
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Loneliness
Is A feeling of depression resulting from being alone or from having no companions.
1645, John Milton, Tetrachordon, p. 7,
Hitherto all things that have been nam’d were approved by God to be very good loneliness is the first thing which God's eye nam’d not good
This shows how important forming real connections with people has always been. But a lot of people can be said to be very lonely even though they have many people around them.
There are people who can enjoy being by themselves without feeling alone, they are happy, feel loved, and fulfilled. This is great but a lot more people are out there who desperately need to fill in and feel loved.
Being lonely if not taken care of can cause one to have more serious health problems, like depression, heart disease, and sadness.
However, below are some reasons I could think of why people might feel lonely;
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A past bad Relationship
Someone that has a bad history of relationships might find it hard to form a connection again if the bad feeling left by such an event is not well addressed.
For example; A child who lacks a good relationship with his or her parents during childhood if care is not taken might be having a void that no one can fill during adulthood. Such a person might end up living a lonely life because of distrust toward others. As a parent I make sure my son gets adequate attention from both of us. My aim is to have a less lonely soul both now and in the future.
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Loneliness Due To Idleness
When people are idle they are more likely to feel lonely, there is a great feeling of self-worth knowing that waking up every day, there are people somewhere that value what we do. Someone once said to me, If you ever find yourself lonely, get yourself to start doing something productive. This will automatically attract people to you and your worth will be maintained.
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Lost of a loved one
Losing someone very close to our heart can cause someone to feel very lonely even if they still have other people around them, due to how they have bonded and are connected to such a dead relative or friends. This kind of loneliness can be cured if the person learns how to let go gradually, open up to the people around them, and form a new relationship. This might be a bit difficult but it is doable when one is intentional about it.
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Society conformity
Society is becoming more conform and standard base focus than ever. This is making creativity, art and people to truly be themselves. A society where everyone is expected to act or behave in a certain way or with a certain standard makes a lot of people start forming shields of character and masks. 👺 When this happens a true connection is lost.
There was this part of a comedy series episode I watched some weeks back. Where a mother had to pretend to be a very devoted churchgoer just to please her son who hasn't been visiting her for years. The son finally decides to come home after fifteen years and suddenly she starts pretending to be who her son used to know her to be many years ago.
Lucky for her, she has a friend who was able to open her eyes to why she needs to be her true self. She is amazing just the way she is, if not her son will never know who she truly is on the inside. You need to see when she unmasked herself before the son, and the son has no other choice than to start learning to accept and appreciate her for who she is.
When we put on a mask, we lose ourselves and a real connection will never form.
We need to love ourselves for who we are and show the people around us the greatness in every one of us, and then a real connection will be made.
This is another great aspect of the hive I so much cherish up til tomorrow. Unlike traditional social media where only the best part of us is appreciated, here we can all express ourselves freely without much fear of being judged and in return we form a formidable connection of like-minded people that will go to a large extent to support one another.
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In Conclusion
It is never too late for people to start being themselves, pick up the phone and call their friends, show them the real you, and let that real connection begin. But more importantly, a relationship should never be based on what one can get from one another but should be based on companionship and that is real connection.