I had never seen myself as a short tempered person. I always believed I had control over my emotions but constant outbursts proved otherwise. Especially during that time of the month.
This doesn't mean I'm easy to anger. No. It just means I'm not as self controlled as I want to be. Yet. Anger is somewhat terrifying. It is an emotion on a different level. It feeds off your energy, projecting your most unwanted thoughts and letting you live it.
Many times, I've been scared of myself. The violent thoughts I have is in no way normal. Still, I always close them each time they surface. I'm family oriented. From most of my blogs, you'll see how much I love my family especially my mom.
The best way to anger me is to hurt those I care about. I'm someone who wouldn't give two cents that you stepped on her toes but would turn into a beast once you target her family. I have just two people I'd die for in this life and there's no doubt that they hold the key to my heart.
I seldom get angry. I get upset, maybe a little worked up, irritated. But angry? It hasn't happened in years. Well, it happened just a few days ago and a friend on Hive took the brunt of my venting. Bless him!
Two things automatically happen when I get angry; my nerves rattle and my mind blurs.
When I'm genuinely angry, I shake. Tremors run through me and my body grows a mind of its own. Usually, it wants payback and it would spill blood to get it. Like I always said, I grew up being angry and I did the worst things to satiate my anger.
When I'm angry is when I smile most. That's scary even to me. And then my mind blurs. I see constant red. Sometimes it's a blackout. Trust me when I say I've come a long way from who I was by the grace of God.
Now, how do/did I escape this wicked vice?
Prayer. Always prayer. A short prayer, few lines with a sincere heart can do tremendous things. Take it from somebody who had been so angry she almost blinded someone.
Music. It helps my soul. When I feel those tremors wracking through me, a good hip-hop rap is an outlet. Spitting the lyrics with no ounce of care in the world, singing at the top of my voice... They help me. It's always like Therapy.
Books. They've always been an escape for me. I get lost in imagination and feed off the energy of characters. A good Rom-Com always does the trick.
A heavy workout session. There are those times that it's so bad I need to punch something. I spend two-three hours at the gym in moments like this. I revel in the burn and ache of my muscles. They call me back to reality.
These are ways I deal with my anger. Guaranteed that we don't work the same way, so I'm certain you have your way of dealing with this menace.
But sometimes, anger isn't always the bad guy. Anger can be the catalyst for that broken teenager who just wants the love and acceptance of their parents without having to break their back for it. It can be the propeller that pushes the most hardworking yet underappreciated worker to quit. It could be the unspoken words of that spouse who can no longer contain being invincible. What is anger to you? How often do you get angry? What is the breaking point for you?
You can tell us by joining in the LADIES OF HIVE COMMUNITY CONTEST. Remember to follow the rules of the community and the guidelines to qualify for the contest.
I invite @nickydee, @hivedeb and @atyourservice to participate.
Source: Lead Image by Freestocks.org from Pexels
