I am the child of a single Mom; not by choice. I have been put in a position where I am made to understand that most single mothers do not decide to be single. No. In fact, they are mostly victims of circumstances such as disloyalty, abuse, discrimination and even death.
Growing up with just my mother has made me see things and process them. The one thing single mothers can't do is be father figures. That's obvious. However, being a woman, they are forced to fill the space of both man and woman.
This could harden them or it could be the strength they need. I have pictures of my mother's wedding. I heard tales of a happy family until it suddenly went south.
I admire single mothers and contrary to belief, I think they are more than capable to raise a child on their own especially when they have been forced to. It might be harder should the child/children be male, but they always figure it out.
We all know that God created women to be emotional beings. He then gave men the logic to balance it out. This is often why the woman would take a bullet for her children. Not that I'm saying father's wouldn't but women do it in a heartbeat. No hesitation.
As a woman and a mother, they are faced with the first phase of difficulty. Managing their emotions. I know this because I see my Mom do it. There are only a few times I've seen my mother cry. She's come so far in being the strong one among the two of us. When a woman is able to hold down emotions and think with their heads rather than heart, there's every possibility that she can do way better than most men. But this is increasingly difficult. Women are wired with emotions. They feel and they don't know how to keep it in.
The other difficulty would be their creativity. I watched my Mom start from ground zero. Absolutely nothing in the bank account. She was robbed of her certificate. So, no job, no money.
This is what they call a hopeless case but nah. Not my mother. That woman is an embodiment of strength. She sealed the hurt and gasped with the pain, took a menial job that paid 3k($6) monthly and channeled that money into a business. How she did it? I have no idea. The woman made our house run a budget and was still able to raise capital to start a small business. She didn't limit herself. She bought books and invested in herself.
You wonder why I'm so taken with self-development? It's my mother right there. She learned to make snacks on her own, beads, drinks and even ran a clothing trade! All one person. I was always with her. I watched in awe how she handled money and capital. For the first ten years, it was all fine. But then life happens.
In essence, what I'm saying is, single mothers are never limited. They limit themselves and that is sad honestly. But being a single mom is never a bad thing. Especially when it was not by choice.
If I would advice a single mom, it'll be to invest in herself. Why? The child/children would have to learn from someone. And they pick up parental habits faster than most. When they watch you, they imitate you. What you do is right. You're never wrong. That is how it is with children.
So, investing in yourself as a single mom not only works out in your favor but also for that of your offspring. They would pick up your habits, characters and beliefs soon enough. It's best to give them what is real and right. In this instant, it's not just about you as a person. No. It's about you being responsible for another life.
I am not a single mom. But I'm the daughter of one. Years of watching and observing my mother has shaped me (plus my experiences). I have been given freedom of choice and that is more than I could ask for.
My response to the Ladies Of Hive Contest.