Every woman deserves to have a voice, and women's empowerment is the first and most important step toward making that happen. No woman deserves to live under the shadow of another or the shadow of a man. I've seen women tolerate physical, emotional, and mental abuse from men because they are not empowered and can't sustain themselves if they leave.
I am one of those women and my personal experience has further reinforced my belief in women empowerment. I was the type that gave my all in my relationship, I didn't have savings of my own, and every money I ever made was added to my partner's own to get things done.
It seemed like a solid and sensible thing to do at that time, and I was comfortable knowing that my partner was in charge of all the family's finances. He called the shots and dictated what to do and it was okay by me.
Until we made a bad investment that cleaned out every penny we had, savings included. It was hard and rough after,but we forged on gallantly."Winners don't quit, and quitters don't win, right?" Only it wasn't going to be simple. No one said it was going to be easy, but it was going to be worth it was one of my favorite mantras.
Turns out it wasn't even going to be hard, it became excruciatingly painful and everything went sideways. The quarrels started from lack of finances and it was terrible.
The quarrels I could stand, I loved him, and I've always been his biggest cheerleader and his ride-or-die. Everything was going to be okay, I told myself over and over. It might have been if only he didn't despise me.
He took out the frustrations of the fruitless investment on me probably because I was near. Mind you, the investment wasn't my idea and I dissuaded him from doing it, but he didn't listen. You must be wondering why I said earlier that we made a bad investment, I said we because I supported him even after he didn't listen to me. I gave him my full support and was with him every step of the way. He turned around to blame me for the failed investment saying it was my initial negative attitude that made everything go wrong.
Anyway, we parted ways before the birth of my second child, I was pregnant with him by then. It was hard but it had to be done. The last big fight we had was so serious that family got involved, and his family had his back 💯, blaming me for not giving him rest of mind and hassling him all the time.
I had my second child and forged ahead with my kids with no clear outline of the shape my life was going to take. I was sad, angry, depressed, and broke for a long time because I didn't have a penny to my name. If only I had not been blinded by love, I would have been able to get my life in order real quick, financially.
When I was at my lowest, family and friends turned up for me, women especially because they could relate to my pain. I bounced back and now, I'm doing okay for myself.
What's my point? I would have left earlier and not tolerate bullshit from him if not for the fear of starting again, alone and broke. Most women are suffering in silence at the hands of their partners because they don't have anywhere to go or money to start over.
Women empowerment to me is simple, it means a woman taking charge of her life and making choices that suit her without having to worry about the financial implications of it. It means not tolerating rubbish hwfrom anyone and owning up to your shit, confident that you can survive alone.
This is why I'm always lending a helping hand to any woman who needs my help no matter how little. In a world where the odds are automatically stacked against women, we need to look out for each other to achieve social justice. It's also important to note that as women, there's space for everyone one of us at the top as long as we don't sabotage, boycott or do each other dirty. It's us against the world and we have to come together to lift each other up.
Woman to Woman, there's space for each other at the top, the sky is big enough.