I know when you're in a relationship, you think your partner is way more attractive than you. For instance, you could think your boyfriend has a good personality but have a low sex drive or that he is as good looking as his ex. But if you're truly attracted to someone and they turn out to be less attractive than you thought, then that may mean that your personality isn't as attractive as you think.
At the end of the day, whether a person is more attractive than you are has little to do with their looks. The only thing that matters is whether you and that person share the same values, goals, and sexual preferences. And if those things align, then, they'll be more likely to be attracted to you.
You Smile More Than You Nod
"Smiling demonstrates warmth and being approachable and shows that you can relate," Rachel Needle, LMFT, of Rachel Needle Counseling tells Bustle. So if you and your partner can smile and laugh together, then it'll show that your personalities are compatible.
You Listen More Than You Talk
According to Needle, your partner may make comments about how attractive you are, but if you don't listen, you're doing a lot more to impress them. "Focus on listening and showing your interest in what your partner has to say," she says.
You Show Interest In Their Thoughtful Conversation
A huge indicator that someone is attractive to you is if you find your partner really interesting. "You listen to understand, to be interested, to have empathy," Needle says. "You don't interrupt, you show interest in the conversation, and you're willing to go to great lengths to understand."
You Enjoy Being Home With Them
"You like to be in your partner's presence," Needle says. "You feel comfort with them, you relax around them, and you're willing to make yourself available to them at all hours." So if your partner makes you laugh, gets along well with your friends, and they give you a chance to show your interests and skills, then they'll likely be attracted to you.
You're Physically Connected
The last tip to pay attention to is physical proximity. When you're physically close to someone, it shows they're more interested in you. "You can be on opposite sides of the country or even different countries, but if you're physically close to someone, then that shows that they value you," Needle says.
You Like To Be In Love With Them
"You enjoy your partner's company and you feel comfortable being around them," Needle says. If they're not your type, but you still care about them, then you'll likely be attracted to them as long as you feel comfortable with them.
You Make Time For Them
"Being in love and feeling it intensely is the number one sign that someone is attractive to you," Needle says. "You make time for them. You don't let other things get in the way of spending time with them."
You Love To Connect With Them
If your partner shares some of the same values or goals as you, it'll likely be very attractive to you to spend time together. "You like to talk to them, you make eye contact with them, and you really enjoy being with them," Needle says. "You make an effort to connect with them."
As always, honesty is the key to a good relationship. If your partner can't be completely honest with you, they're not likely to be attracted to you. "You expect honesty from others, so if you feel that your partner is not being completely truthful with you or is purposefully being dishonest with you, you may not like them and might decide to find someone that you are attracted to that is willing to be open with you," Needle says.