When we are clear about our focal point in life and take that as a reference to make the best of ourselves, it is possible to move away and keep our distance from a number of elements, habits and addictions; falling into the "bad" is easy, standing up is crucial, but staying upright is fundamental to fully enjoying physical and mental health.
If we concentrate our attention on that focus or focuses that guide us and illuminate the path, even though this path has snakes, holes, and a number of adverse situations, we can say "this is not good for me" "I deserve better" and I do not say all this in a cold and insensitive way, on the contrary, I have lived it, it is difficult to pronounce these words when you feel depressed about the life you lead, when you are fragile due to some family misfortune, or other reasons that cause you to feel regret and discomfort, it is easier and even more relaxing to fall into some kind of addiction, but I firmly believe that we are courageous, conscious and deserving of the best,we just have to keep lighted that super-conscious side, vital to our own well-being and that of those around us.
But we do not control our environment, and in my family environment I had to live the experience of addiction not directly, but through my father, that figure who shapes his children and is an example to follow, at least that should be so. The experience of others influences children in a transcendental way:
Psychology and neuroscience confirm that the influence of primary experiences (first years of life) on a person's life is much greater than one would expect.
Experiences literally shape the brain by determining the neural connections that drive the functioning of the mind, the way we relate to people and the world.
Source
Only he who grows up seeing around him the consequences of addiction can feel the affliction in his heart, preferring to absent his mind from that place plagued by injustice and uncertainty.
For a child, living in a home where one parent is an alcoholic can be a prison where terror is the daily bread. Being small and living in such a situation creates in him a feeling of anguish and helplessness, which he is unable to understand. Parents must provide their child with a safe place of learning and love, where he can develop his personality in a healthy way. However, this becomes impossible when one of the parents has a drinking problem. The child learns to live in an almost perennial state of anxiety, where pain and anguish become his playmates, when he must not learn to be invisible so that the anger of the addicted parent does not touch him.
What are you addicted to?
I had a powerful influence of addiction very close to me, my father, I saw him every weekend drinking alcohol, those days were sad, I observed his behavior and I felt hurt, deeply abandoned by that father figure you long to admire, and he was falling more and more apart without wanting to recognize that he had a problem that affected the whole family, we were immersed in a kind of sadness, anger, and helplessness. Because it is bitter when something that can be solved, does not want to be solved by the one who suffers it directly.
In Venezuela there have been regrettable changes for all its people, in many aspects, including the economy, and this has affected the Venezuelan's pocket, but in the midst of everything, I tell you, I have observed a drastic drop in the intake of alcohol and many other foods; my father no longer ingests alcohol, unless it is given to him, my mother-in-law who smoked so much, boxes and boxes of cigarettes, today only consumes two cigarettes a day, and I am not happy about the situation in my country, but I have observed that and I wanted to mention it.
How does it help you?
The experience I lived with my father, strengthened me, made me more aware of the danger of accepting anything that could harm me, I have always been a somewhat fragile-looking person, but my mind is very strong since I was a child, I know how to reject, I know how to say no, I know how to turn away from what does not suit me, and all because of the experience I suffered for many years and made me cry many times.
how does it hinder you?
Everything toxic that was generated around my family, made me distrustful of a happy future, and in that aspect I was very insecure, yes, it affected my esteem, I felt as a child that I was not worthy of my father's love, that he preferred a bottle, friends than me, that was the great obstacle to overcome, and although the years have passed and I am married, I feel very uncomfortable when my husband drinks alcohol, although I have always been clear with him, and he knows all this, but he only does it on very selective dates and that fills me with peace.
In the midst of the turbulence of that aspect of my life, I clung to the fact that I would have a wonderful family in the future, where my children would have the best of examples, both from me and their father, and that was my focus, my lantern, my light, and I feel blessed to have always refused the strong impulse of vice and addiction.
Thanks to the opportunity that @ecotrain gives us to express ourselves with the question of the week: What are you addicted to and how does it help or hinder you?, where you can participate in the following link: Ecotrain question of the week S4 #19
Thank you dear friends for the support, any suggestion will be received with much affection
