photo by @ecotrain
For the longest time I have been wondering about past lives, if we carry karma from our ancestors or our own, if doing good will actually come back to us, what is the purpose of life, what is my own purpose on this planet Earth... As an overthinker, once these thoughts come to my mind, it's very hard to let them go and even harder to try and find (good) answers for them. Then I get to the point where nothing makes sense, anxiety kicks in and my head is full of unnecessary, not that positive thoughts.
Lately I have been reading some books, journaling, bringing myself to the present moment, expressing gratitude for everything I see/feel/can remember at that moment. There are few important lessons I have learned from these practices - some of them I was aware of before but some really came to me as a new realization, it almost feels like now I am fully ready to adopt, embrace and live by them.
Even though this post is more about how to give up on the question Is life fair? rather then trying to give a proper answer, I hope it is still relevant. Questions like this are nice to write about as a form of self-reflection, expression and conversation starter and I really enjoyed sharing my thoughts on this week's topic. Thank you all for reading and have a great day! :)
Just a photo of sunset I took yesterday to make this post more pretty :)
Here are some things that are helping me with the entire 'Is life fair?' question and everything that comes with it:
Giving up the victim mentality
It wasn't easy to admit I had this mindset for the longest time and only now I am learning to let it go. Of course, it's a lot easier to live by this as we can blame anything and everything for the life we're living (our parents, teachers, bosses, colleagues, partners - the list goes on) but once we really let go of this thought pattern, take responsibility for our lives and realize that pretty much everything comes from us first, there is this amazing feeling of getting our own power back so we can take our lessons from the past experiences, start fresh and strong with a new mindset. I can't even tell you how many times I thought my life would be so much better/easier/whatever if I was born in a different country, in different culture, if I went to another school (again list goes on) but absolutely NOTHING would change if my mindset was still the same. I would just find another things to complain about, other people to blame...
Accepting the fact I might never find answers to some big questions
Another hard one to process but I am trying my best to make peace with the fact that I might never find answers to some questions and that can even include the one I am writing about now 'Is life fair?' - I know that these questions will come to me every now and again and it's okay to think about them out of curiosity and self-reflection but like I said, I tend to overthink and get anxious so now I am practicing releasing these thoughts (I literally imagine them going out from my head into the space, Universe... it sounds silly but it works) and I tell myself that if I really need to find out some of the answers to the deepest questions I have, those answers will come to me when the time is right.
Switching my focus from the things I can't control to the ones I can
We can spend the rest of our lives wondering, complaining or thinking if life is fair or not (same with other big question) but the fact is, by doing that absolutely nothing would change. We can't go back in time, choose to be born in another circumstances or re-live some parts of our lives. All we can do is focus on the now. I am sure everything happens for a reason and every experience is an important lesson that makes us learn, grow and move forward. There's so many things in life we cannot control but there's also plenty we can, some of them being how we process life, how we react to both good and bad things happening, how we spend our time and a lot more.
Learning to surrender and have faith
This is something I am taking as my latest life lesson. Through mental practices, journaling and reading books, I am learning to release all the tension, anxiety, guilt, shame and just surrender to life, no matter what it brings me. I am learning that I have to do my part in life - taking action, setting goals and actually work towards them, open myself up to experiences/people, rise past my many fears, believe in myself and just do my best, accepting that I'll probably make mistakes along the way, fail or even get hurt - would that be fair if I'm really doing my best? Probably not. Am I going to fall back into the old patterns and ways of thinking? Maybe. Am I going to be gentle to myself, pick myself up and get back on track? Hell yes! As long as I am doing my best then surrender and have faith, I think I will live more fulfilled, happier life.
Staying grateful and being present in the moment
Gratitude is a very powerful thing! We live in a fast moving, stressful times, where we can name at least ten things that are going wrong but we take zero time to appreciate things we have. When I bring myself to the present moment, I tend for look for things I can express my gratitude towards, even if it's something I am used to/take for granted. If I'm going through a hard time, I know there's always few things I can name - first cup of coffee in the morning, sunset, our family garden... I would definitely say never underestimate the power of gratitude. If we're not grateful for the things we already have, what makes us think we deserve more?
