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There's something I want to tell you. Please don't tell anyone about it.
"Why? Is it a bad one?"
Can you keep it a secret? I just want to tell it to someone. It will help me to feel better.
"Why do you need to make it a secret?"
I don't know. It's just something I don't want everyone to know about it.
"My subconscious is talking."
I have been hiding secrets from a long time ago. I keep it hiding to avoid conflict. I don't intend to hide it. I just thought that it's the best thing to do. I just want to make sure that no one gets hurt and I will not be hurt. Am I a coward maybe that way. I know I am but to devour my pride it's worth it.
There were times that I was thinking to reveal it. I was on the edge of telling it already. How I am hiding it feels suffocating me. It's not easy to keep because you will feel guilty when you face those people. I know I'm a liar in front of them. I know I betrayed them. I hurt them with my own thoughts. I just then considered not since they didn't know.
Bad or good person, I am both. We all have a bad side anyway. It's a big deal I know because I still lied. But if I don't lie and decide to hide it. For sure, the peaceful life they have will be in chaos. It's fine to me since it is I who accepted that kind of life. I am happy and sad because of it if you'll ask me.
I'm happy to hide it but sad because it feels doesn't fair. Why it should happen this way. From the millions of people in the world. Why it is me who experiences it. "Am I a bad person to have this kind of situation?" Sometimes I asked myself about it.
Anyway, secrets are both. Good and bad but if you'll consider the results. I must say it's a "good action." You're just protecting the kind of lifestyle they have. You just want the people to continue to live in peace. You don't want to break their trust with each other. You don't want the love to be broken if it's about love. To be specific, you want them to stay what they are now.
That's why if you'll ask me.
"Do you want that secret to keep it hidden?"
My answer will be Yes. Just let them be doesn't know something about it. They are happy already without knowing it. What if they are just acting they didn't know. They are just doing it to protect themselves as well. Sometimes we don't need to cross that border if we don't want a war to happen. Staying like that now is not an act of a coward. As a matter of fact, it's bravery. You're brave to suppress your emotions even though it's hurting you.
Stop being guilty if you have secrets. Stop thinking you're unfair to them. Actually, you're being fair for the people involved. Be proud of yourself because you're a nice person or a nice friend. You're willing to get wrong for the sake of other people.
Thank you for reading