The difference between Observation and Judgement?
It is certainly a difficult subject to deal with and very delicate because when instead making an observation we are giving a judgment, at that precise moment we are hurting the feelings of our interlocutors and without realizing it we risk even to bully them, if not to discriminate.
But I want to try to give my opinion being a woman and mother of two girls who will have to face many judgments in the future even if only to be women.
It seems absurd but in 2020 we are still very far from gender equality at least in my country and we still have to talk about discrimination when it comes to women. It is even more absurd that there are still people forced to face racial discrimination.
What is happening in the United States is an example.
It is difficult for my 12 and 14 year old daughters to understand the word "racism", they cannot understand why people are racist towards other people only for the color of their skin, or because they come from another country or for religion.
I try to raise my girls by making them understand that people must be respected and tolerated regardless of their gender, their skin color, their religion or nationality.
I think we have to teach tolerance towards what is different from us from an early age and not be afraid of it, rather learn to know it because it certainly improves us.
In 2020 we could expect to have overcome certain ideologies instead the world is full of racists and even those who are not racists but with their indifference tolerate racist attitudes.
Unfortunately, social networks aggravate the situation by bringing out more and more situations of intolerance and hatred.
It seems normal to be able to insult someone on the net.
But when teenagers receive comments that judge their appearance, or their way of dressing, it becomes a difficult situation to manage which can lead to insecurities but also to serious pathologies.
Everyone can suffer hate attacks on social networks for no real reason.
I wonder, however, are we sure that those who judge think they make a simple observation?
Who judges does it consciously knowing that they hurt others?
Unfortunately, I believe that judgment has always been the basis of our societies, perhaps it has always been a way of keeping people under control. Since the past If people didn't behave according to the label required, they were judged and often got away from the community.
So I believe that it is not easy to remove the vice of judging others, it is inside the human being's DNA.
Of course it would take a great cultural and social change that must definitely begin in the family and continue in schools.
For example, in Italy, an attempt is being made to make a law in parliament against homotransophobia, that is, fear and irrational aversion towards homosexuality, bisexuality and prejudiced transsexuality.
This is because in recent times there have been violent acts against non-heterosexual people, going from judgment to prejudice to verbal and physical violence.
Unfortunately, compared to other European countries, we are twenty years behind on civil rights.
Hopefully it's the right time to a cultural change.
But DNA makes itself felt in several Italians who are against this law because they say it limits freedom of thought.
To try not to make mistakes in making judgments, I always try to put myself in others'shoes.
If we were all a little more empathetic towards others, perhaps we would stop making judgments, because living it on our skin we realize how bad it can be to receive a negative judgment.
It is not difficult to stop and think before speaking.
Thinking that words have weight and choosing one word over another can make a difference.
For example, if my daughters dress badly or inappropriately, I will make them understand indirectly, I won't tell them that they are ugly or the dress is bad, I suggest an alternative, a dress that maybe enhances them more or a color that looks good on them more.
I avoid being abrupt and hurting their feelings.
For example, if a friend of mine got fat I avoid pointing it out to her because for us women it is a very delicate topic and here it is easy to pass from an observation to a negative judgment.
In case, if I have to express myself, I look for the right words, I try to minimize the problem and not give it too much importance.
But what does it cost us to put a little kindness in our sentences?
It takes so little to make the world around us better, if each of us learned to put ourselves in the shoes of others before judging we would live in a better society.
Thanks for stopping by here.
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