What is your hole in the bucket?
BEING AN EMPATH
For me, being an empath is not that easy at all. I’ve got to absorb other people’s feelings which often made me confused about why I feel unexplained emotions all of a sudden. Most of the time, I also feel a sudden burst of overwhelming emotions without a reason. I had a hard time dealing with those emotions and would make me anxious and worst, it made me think of ending my existence.
When I talk to other people and they seem to feel intense happiness, my heart would also leap for joy. When they’re angry or down, I would feel the same emotion as well.
I also feel an intense sadness when I saw some homeless people on the street, when I saw some heartbreaking news on television or social media, or even hearing some emotional stories. The feeling of sadness overwhelms me. I’m always unconsciously putting myself on someone’s shoes and I seem to feel their emotion. It’s breaking my heart, hence, I tried not to get affected by those that I see and hear. I’m trying to ignore things that I know, might send me a feeling that I can’t control.
I didn’t know why I am like that. I thought I’m just overly sensitive because of the past heartaches and traumas that I’ve been through. Indeed, having that sensitivity is a burden to me.
DISCOVERING THE GIFT
Then one day, while I was browsing on the internet, I came across an article that describes people with a special gift called empathy. When I realized that I was maybe an empath, I finally get to understand what was going on with myself, why I felt those emotions and I’ve got to know about energies. I realized that most of what I felt was maybe not mine at all, that I have unconsciously absorbed other people’s feelings. That explains why I feel a sudden shift of emotion that made me so confused and overwhelmed.
How did the hole in your bucket help make this world a better place?
Since I often put myself on other’s shoes, I usually try to understand negative situations and circumstances and think that that happened for a reason. When I came across difficult people, I tend to understand them and wonders how they became a difficult person.
I once had a colleague who was so difficult to handle. Everyone on the team had a difficult time dealing with him. His subordinates don’t like him because he’s too harsh and there’s not a single day that he doesn’t get mad. He would shout at his personnel and embarrass those that had committed even a small mistake in the front of the other workers.
Then one day, I was moved to his office and sits in front of his table. I felt so uncomfortable with his presence. Also, only the two of us occupied the office because my other workmates prefer to stay in our old office and would just visit us whenever they want to.
When I was moved to that office, I already prepared myself to receive those harsh arguments from him or I would be reprimanded anytime. But I was wrong. When he initiated a conversation, I was just listening to him and will just talk to ask questions to keep the conversation going. I showed him empathy and compassion whenever we talk. I noticed that he likes talking and loves it when someone listens to him. Days had passed and I think he became comfortable with me that he opened up to me regarding his personal life including his past heartaches, hardships, and achievements.
That’s when I understand why he became a difficult person. Whenever I encounter people like him, I know that behind that attitude lies a past trauma, heartaches, and hardships in their life. By being an empath, my intuition would come first before judgment.
I believe that empathy is a gift and when controlled properly, it will bless the world. I am still trying to understand how to control it so that I could filter which emotions are mine and which are from the others. While I’m still on the journey of learning those things, I have decided to avoid toxic people because I know how their negative energy affects me. I am still sensitive now so I am trying ways to protect myself from feeling those overwhelming energies.
I know that by understanding this gift, the negativity that might surround me will no longer affect me because learning to block other’s unwanted emotions is important to protect myself and to shine my light to bless the world with kindness and understanding.
This is my entry to @ecoTrain's Question of the Week. Read it here and share what's your response to the question: What's your hole in the bucket?