ecoTrain Tie Up Post: What is my hole in the bucket?


THANK YOU all for sharing such personal, beautiful, and inspiring posts. This was one of those QOTW's that really helps to us to get to know one another that much better, you guys are beautiful inspiring souls! There was such a wide range of posts from people sharing some very hard and challenging issues. It is heart-warming to see how you have overcome them, and turned them and your lives into such a positive. It seems to me sometimes that life is not about what happens to you, but instead how you react to it.

To all of you who give yourself a hard time about whatever weaknesses you perceive in life, never give up just because someone tells you that you are not good enough.. instead prove them wrong.. Do your thing YOUR way, and let them then see the results. It is clear from the responses we got this week that it is so empowering and can lead to truly wonderful life changing events.


What comes to mind when thinking about this question was when I was paralyzed from a neck injury in a car crash, there is my hole in the bucket! This was a major life changing event which took me from leading one kind of life to a very different life.

Before the accident I had been very athletic and pushed myself hard.

After the accident I had a physical disability and faced lots of challenges, (I was labeled as disabled although I soon found I was more able then a lot of able body people!)

I found that I no longer was really wanted, like being one of the last to be picked for a team. This was emotionally wounding on top of the physical wounds but it lead me to greater empathy for others facing challenges. Let's face it we all have our challenges and it's whether we rise up to meet them or just go into a slump and feel sorry for ourselves.

Because I could no longer do the type of work I did before which was very physical, it lead me to look into other fields - one being education - I love working with kids!


The holes in our bucket! @ecotrain shared a wonderful story which highlighted how the very things that may be seen as a weakness in our lives, is indeed what feeds our growth and at times the growth of those around us.

But what are weaknesses anyway, because every situation we find ourselves in, every experience we have, is an opportunity to learn. It is how we see things, how we choose to react to each event that creates our stories. How we see ourselves, that help to shape us!

And it is the stories we tell ourselves, the words we use that really shape who we are. We can very easily turn things around, simply by how we choose to perceive them, how we Choose to see ourselves. . So that our so called weaknesses become our strengths. It is all down to perception.

When I was younger, I used to envy those people who were really sociable, who could just walk up to someone and introduce themselves. I was that shy girl, who spend time by herself and got uncomfortable if someone she didn't know approached her. What would I say, how could I even have something to say that would interest them.


Human weaknesses can be as many as strengths, it all depends on what crystal you look at. However, that a weakness is transformed into a strength is a feat that requires many things in certain measures, but above all to "realize" that there is a "hole" in our "container" and take care to give it a chance to "serve" something and seek the positive within the supposedly negative. That's what the great story that this week's QOTW brought us for enjoyment and reflection is about, and I place it below so that anyone who hasn't read it can draw their own conclusions and I can treasure this pearl myself.

In the wave of making the most of any opportunity that brings us closer to our inner selves in search of self-knowledge in a deliberate way and with wise questions, this week the question focuses on digging our "holes", from the moral of that story. And, look, we all have "holes" and also good uses for them and we don't realize it sometimes.


I'm a bit slower than other people. This goes for both my cognitive and motor skills. Throughout my life I've often been made painfully aware of it.

In school, tests and exams are timed and I was always worried about whether I'd finish on time. With mental arithmetic, my teacher was thankfully fairly easy on me, but the goal was to try and get faster. I could always solve the problem, but it took me longer than most of the others who could manage to. It's never been that I'm incapable of doing things, just that it was always noted that I needed to do it faster. Not surprisingly, I took that as a negative and labeled myself as “not good enough.”



For me, being an empath is not that easy at all. I’ve got to absorb other people’s feelings which often made me confused about why I feel unexplained emotions all of a sudden. Most of the time, I also feel a sudden burst of overwhelming emotions without a reason. I had a hard time dealing with those emotions and would make me anxious and worst, it made me think of ending my existence.

When I talk to other people and they seem to feel intense happiness, my heart would also leap for joy. When they’re angry or down, I would feel the same emotion as well.

I also feel an intense sadness when I saw some homeless people on the street, when I saw some heartbreaking news on television or social media, or even hearing some emotional stories. The feeling of sadness overwhelms me. I’m always unconsciously putting myself on someone’s shoes and I seem to feel their emotion. It’s breaking my heart, hence, I tried not to get affected by those that I see and hear. I’m trying to ignore things that I know, might send me a feeling that I can’t control.


There are 2 things that I feel are a "Hole in my Bucket"
The first one is;

I try to see good in everyone - I always like to see the good in people, be it even if it is very little or even if the person may have done a lot of wrong. My mind always goes in the direction that what has made the person like this. The person may have gone through some very extreme situations to become bitter or for the person to take a wrong road in life. And this is a fact, a lot of time very bitter experiences of life do change the path of people. Everyone do not have the same mental health or the capacity to undergo difficult situations of life and hence one can succumb to the pressures of life.

I always like to give that benefit to the person and even if there is any little good I would like to see that good in the person and encourage.

But, yes I have personally experienced that people do take advantage of this nature. There are times when I have been used for their advantage and then they have disappeared. Now in a way sometimes I also see this as a learning for my own growth.


When I was young, I did not know that I had speech problem until I was a teenager when many of my classmates made fun of me.

I actually discovered later in life that my tongue was shorter than most people.

A few of them would imitate the way I talked and laughed over it.

It was definitely a terrible experience since I was humiliated in front of the whole class.
I made an effort to improve my spoken language.

Back then, my parents were not aware of the need for speech therapy for me.

I bought a cheap microphone that was able to connect to my home radio channel for me to listen and correct my own pronunciation when I spoke into it.

I did lots of tongue exercises daily to enable my tongue to be more flexible.

I listened to the newscasters and tried to imitate them.


I had a challenging childhood in many ways. I was born in London, UK and moved countries three times before i was 9 years old. I went to 7 different schools in total, and became quite used to huge changes in just about everything. My father passed away when i was very young, at just 5 months old. My mother remarried very quickly, to a very strict man who became my Step father for 8 painful years. We did not get on, and its fair to say that my hole in the bucket stems to a large extent to this man. He required exacting behaviour in order for me to feel safe and not be shouted at or spanked. As an empath and highly sensitive child I learned to adapt and learned how to keep everyone happy, all of the time.


I intended to record a video, but the words are choppy while the heart hammers my chest hard and fast, so I decided to write and use the opportunity as a therapy. I've had a couple of days where I had to remember old fears and face them to show me how much I've grown, one of those fears is not new, it's a monster that tormented me in the early mornings when no one is awake.

14 was my age at the time (it is necessary to know that the subject is painful and partly delicate, for that reason meditate long before writing) I want to tell the story after denouncing, when I reach the "breaking point".

At that moment it was difficult to breathe and move, even to speak was difficult, shock, panic, I went out to seek help trying to calmly dress and without noticing the tears escape from the scene, while he asked for forgiveness I breathed deeper and pressed my teeth because when the nerves were tense I forgot the sobbing in my chest and the knot in my throat was relieved, I finally left the house and got into the first car, I didn't even know its route, I wasn't thinking, (it was the first moment I felt partially safe and cried no matter who was looking), I paid and got out, all in silence.



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