ecoTrain Question Of The Week TIE UP POST!: Why do we fall in love AND why it is so hard to get over someone?

This weeks question of the week was posed by @nikolina.. The response has been quite amazing.. i cant remember the last time we had SO many responses to the QOTW... Perhaps that is indicative of how important Love is in all of our lives! Thank you to all who took part, and I’m happy to report that many of the posts have received some great up-votes from ecoTrain and our new collaboration with OCD.

We invite more and more people to join our ecoTrain community to know and learn all about sustainable lifestyle and living. Ultimately we want you to be free to live in a way that supports your deepest human nature and desires. To do this we need to shift to a new paradigm, and we are currently on the precipice of great change owing to the massive upheavals caused by COVID19. I believe we must come back to our roots, and fulfil our most primal needs. Most important of these is to live in a supportive community that fosters healthy relationships and dynamics, and be self sufficient! Therefore, we are here to support your posts that cover topics relating to sustainability, off-grid living, Permaculture, homesteading, healthy cooking, holistic healing, and more.. The ecoTrain also supports the creation of real world ecoVillages in Portugal and beyond. The time has never been more ripe for us to attain real security and to become self sufficient.

With much love to all, let's see what our gems have to share with the ecoTrain community.



It’s difficult to answer this question without first defining what ‘love is’, which in itself is difficult enough, which possibly explains why we tend to fall back on analogies and examples, like with the well known ‘love is’ comic strip.

The blurb to this week's question steers us towards romantic relationships, and that kind of love involves a desire for a close, special relationship with one significant other, and that desire for closeness I think generally has three elements

  1. Mutual Personal affirmation – where you share your ‘passions’ with your partner and they recognise those passions in you, and vice versa – ideally these coincide and you end up building something together (the typical buildy thing being starting a family).
  2. Mutual emotional support – where you partner acts as your counsellor, keeps you going and prevents you from feeling alone. This is more of your slow burn, probably quite one sided most of the time, and inequality in this dimension is the main reason for eventual relationship breakdowns, I think.
  3. Mutual Sexual attraction – I think a lot people associate this with number two above, but it’s probably better when it’s just about rutting and more associated with number one above – ‘building a good sex life’. There is also a crude physical element to this, so it is more than either one or two above.


EcoTrain Question of the Week # 15: Why do we fall in love with certain people and why is it so hard to forget someone?

Coming out of romanticism, love is a series of chemical reactions caused mainly by oxytocin and dopamine,


And as a good chemical reaction, it doesn't happen with just anyone. It will always depend on a few variables to make it happen. Because we certainly all have these nice hormones, but that's not enough.

According to my perception, love occurs according to the synchronicity that we have with someone, those things that our conscious and subconscious constantly seek without us noticing. When everything happens in an instant we FALL IN LOVE .


Falling in love is a beautiful thing, being in love makes a lot (if not all) of differences in the world. Someone once said to me that you will know when you find the one because he/she will feel like home, change the notion you've had all your life, make you realise some things are worth finding, holding on to and you don't have to lose yourself.

Do listen to my opinion on the question of the week.

▶️ Watch on 3Speak


I have read about this contest few days ago and really wanted to participate but was so pre-occupied with a lot of things such that the thought or the desire of trying to submit my answer to the question just slip away.

Good that I had bumped into it again and here I am trying to create my share hopefully I could catch up with the deadline.

So this will be my very first entry, I have seen a lot of previous questions to answer and regret I was not able to participate even once since this contest started.

This question may sound easy to answer, such that even small kids have the capacity to discern why people do fall in love.

I can say easy because humans as we are we all fall in love, maybe to the right person or to someone not meant to be.

Well, falling in love happens for a reason. It’s like our brain and heart are set up to support such wonderful feelings.


Being in love is one of the most intense sensations that a human being can experience... Basically, it is like floating among the clouds due to the presence of the other person ... It is as if that person were your center of gravity ... What if I've been in love, To be honest, I think so ...

Why do we fall in love? Mainly I believe that human beings are beings that we like to be accompanied and share with other people. I believe that the process of falling in love is linked to several aspects since we are a biopsychosociocultural unit.

We fall in love biologically, this is related to the physical, sexual, and reproductive aspects ... Yes, I know! We can have sex and sexual relations without being in love, but let's be honest, who has not been intimate with that person who tickles your stomach and feels great? Also one of the gestures of being in love and showing love is when two people get together or simply everything flows to have a child. A son is in my opinion the maximum expression of love that two people can show...


There are social, chemical, physical, psychological and more reasons why we love. If I had to answer very precisely, I would have to talk about all of them, but my knowledge of those sciences is limited so I will speak today as a human being without labels.

I remember that I was only 13 years old when I wanted, as a future science student, to make my first theories about human relationships. I studied behavior patterns between my acquaintances and myself, I saw how they behaved and I knew that this love affair had much more logic than people wanted to believe, "love is magic" they said. This of course made me a strange and lonely person, really looking for the logic of love seemed to distance me from it more than I knew.


In my opinion, although we were spoiled by the celebration of that of the platonic love of romanticism that was lived in past centuries and that still up to the present, we have been told that love is a matter of certain chemical substances that the brain uses to transmit messages, these substances are called neurotransmitters, previously love was considered as an ideal as something of the spirit of the soul and of the heart, hence the representation of lovers with a heart pierced with an arrow.

Because while it is true that everything we do happens through a stimulus that the brain commands using that neurotransmitter substance causing a response in the body, it is not entirely clear that a person does not impress to the point that we feel attracted to them.


This week's QOTW winds through the mysterious realm of emotions that make beings glow and recognize themselves as peers capable of transcending the body to engage in sublime close encounters of all kinds when we fall in love.

Loving has no limits, falling in love is limited, it is about strengthening the bonds, the relationships, the sensations, the visions, the missions between two people.

When we fall in love, a series of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual processes develop. Our whole being trembles at the arrival of this "something" that invades often unknown internal spaces.

There is something biochemical and energetic that makes our body vibrate when we fall in love. The expressions, the look, the sweat, the attention, the emotion contained in the breath are some indicators difficult to hide that make us feel different and infected with the "virus" of love that brings changes to our life.


I am excited to join this beautiful community where they love nature and food just like I do and here is my humble answer: Why do we fall in love with certain people? In my opinion, I think that it is something of human nature to experience what it is to fall in love with another person, I think we fall in love for the simple fact of feeling affection for another person and giving affection: I personally have only fallen in love twice with myself adolescence and it was something very special for me and for my life, the second time I was already quite adult to understand what it is to fall in love but hey it happened to me, I fell in love intensely with love, with passion, with dedication, his way of treating me was what I motivated my heart to fall in love with that person, and even if I fell in love it was something wow.


Loving a certain person sometimes it suddenly happened. We didn't plan it to happen or we didn't want it to happen but all of a sudden. Our hearts start beating for that certain person. Before I will answer this question let me give you an example first about my experienced. Don't pity me because it happened a long time ago. Maybe it's been 10 years now so I didn't feel anything.

There was this woman I fell in love with when I was on college. She was not that pretty and not that kind. You could she's not a kind of woman that guys going crazy over with. I was a picky man back then in terms of choosing the woman I love. She should be pretty that I can bring her to show to my friends. I've been doing that before just to show off. Maybe that's a bad attitude of me, sorry about that.


Hello everyone!
I don’t usually get into writing here but thought this week I would try my hand at answering the @ecotrain question of the week asked by @nikolina as to

“Why we fall in love with certain people and why is it hard to get over a relationship break up.”

So much of who we are and what we do is based on the incredible memory of our bodies that we take from past generations. You may of course notice physical appearances that you have in common with your past family generations but it goes way deeper than that.
If you doubt this in any way let me give you a clear example from my own life as personal experience is so much more dependable than opinions you can read of and choose whether to believe or not.

When I was 21 I wrote my first work of fiction. It was great fun to write but it was never published ( the book agents of that time said it was well written but it was not the right time for sword and sorcery stories - this was pre Harry Potter I should mention 😂 )



Why did we fall in love? This is a really wide and varied answer question according to each person since we must start from the fact that we do not all have the same tastes and interests nor do we look for the same thing in another person, so basically we can say that this answer can be based on the personality of each person. Most of us are born out of love, so we could say that love is the basis of our life, or of our creation.

Let's say that since childhood we are receiving a kind of programming in our brain, based on what we see in our family, many women see in their parents the first love, and in most cases seek a partner that in the case that his father has been a good example, is similar to him, and in the opposite case that does not resemble at all. Men often look for a partner with a certain resemblance to their mother and even their grandmother, I mean not physical but rather behavioral similarities.


This is what I call: "A two in one", Double question…

From my perspective we are people who handle ourselves through three fundamental things, some of us are visual, others auditory and others kinesthetic, based on this I consider that we fall in love for multiple reasons, including:

VISUAL people: they fall in love with the physical appearance of the person who is usually very attractive, a beautiful face, eyes of unique color and penetrating gaze, crazy hair, sensuality and thus, everything that may seem beautiful in their sight will make them fall in love of that person.

Auditory people: They are those who generally tend to be super in love because that person speaks beautifully, is very polite, seems like an announcer or the girl has a very sweet voice and to complete it she sings beautiful, the gentleman is a flattering gallant and says everything the girl wants to hear and then hopelessly IN LOVE.



It has been a quiet long that I never had my answer in some of the @ecotrain questions lately. I was so much busy and my mind was empty. But, yesterday when I checked the question, I felt it has an easy answer to share with you.

I had been working here for 22 years. Some people said it's too many sacrifices but I never mind what people saying unless I'm doing it for my family. Why I'm doing these? Because it's all about love.

Love is many splendor things according to the lyrics of the song. Love is a special emotion that makes us happy but eventually makes us cry.

The love that I have right now is the love for someone that is not easy to get over. It keeps on haunting me every day and every night.

To begin the story, I would like to tell you that love is the reason why I stayed here for a long time. I love my son who is living in my country and I love my fake daughter that I have here beside me.


The reason I am using this image is because thr topic need the world to know the Radha-Krishna story, which is great symbol of dedication, oneness and pious love relation ever existed Hinduism

When a topic like Love & Realationship comes up, everything will boils down to a Men & Women relation. Our minds simply start responding to relationship between a boy and a girl.

But is that correct way of defining love?

Does love always happen between boys and girls or it is just the human psycology to looks into one direction which make loves quite popular thing around the world.

But when we start looking closely, we might end up looking into a broader and deeper context of love that can happen between anyone. There is a love between "father & child", "a man and an animal", between "brother and sister". There is no limit and boundary of love, it just happen and it is not wrong all the time. Love is one of the pious thing that happen in the universe which makes the world to live happily.


28 Years ago I met this man, I was 18 and he was 21, it was Love at first sight, there was an instant connection and bonding and from the very first moment we saw each other we knew we were meant to be together. The saying goes very apt for me "Love is Blind" and I guess for both of us it was something like that and we both are still Blind 😍

Three years later we got married, honestly I will confess that both of us were not matured enough to get onto such a big responsibility but all we understood that time was that we wanted to be together. We insisted to our parents that we want to get married early😍😍 and we are actually happy about it till date because we feel we have grown together and accomplished everything together in life.


Love is a universal force that can't be quantified or measured by any metric and hence it works against any sense of rationality and most times, the way it happens or affects people proves that it's still somehow inexplicable to the human mind. Now there's no one that has felt what it means to love and doesn't come out with questions that seems unanswerable. It's imperative to understand that love is two sided phenomenon which of course comprises of two sides. While one side can be beautiful and magical, the other side can be full of regret, hate, vengeful, pain and of course it can dark and enigmatic And most times when a person has only felt the magical aspect of love they don't get to understand the many mysteries that comes with love.



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