The absolute truth that tags along with human life is that it will have to end one day. As grim as it sounds, it is the most beautiful thought to live with.
It has taken some time, a considerable amount of time. But the epiphany has finally hit me like a harmonious symphony. I have fallen in love with making the most out of this short lifetime.
Although well-hidden, one of our innate desires is to change. Sometimes it manifests itself in the form of regret, sometimes hope, and sometimes as far as in the form of a prayer.
The strong desire to change something within, or around us, creates a never-to-be-fulfilled wish to time travel. Sometimes it creates scenarios under the calming running of water where all the things that went wrong suddenly have a second chance to be corrected. And in the best-case scenarios, it revs up the engines of motivation that physically push an individual to change themselves for the better.
Howsoever the desire to change manifests itself, it always is present. I loved the write-up in the Question post. It mentioned some of the things most of us aren't content with. Jobs, physical outlook, aging, and so on. Things we, as everyday people, often wish to be either changed or reverted.
I have myself gone through the "what if?" phase. The phase of life some of us are very familiar with and which some of us are still fighting against. A phase of regrets, doubts, and questions. I have found myself wishing for a time machine, wishing for a second chance, wishing for just one thing to be different, all in the hopes of changing my life for the better. For a more content life. Finally hitting the finishing line after which the "what if" phase of my life would be behind me.
In some ways, I am rather glad I went through that mentally tormenting phase of life. It has taught me things I wouldn't have known otherwise. Things like the beauty of grays between the white and black. Just like the beauty of the gray in between the absolute truth. The beauty of living a content life before it ends. Or like the gray in between having the life I want and the life I have.
What I am trying to tell you Genie, is that I want to be reinvented as the person that I always had to be but have still not become - tenacious. Like a flower growing from a rock - tenacious. I want to be reinvented as someone who kept at it. Who found the love of grays of life before the first gray hair popped out of my head. I want to be the person that sticks through the thick and finds joy in it.
If only I knew how incredible it feels to build towards a life that I desire and then find it. It feels infinitely better than getting it served on a silver plate. So put me back wherever you want in my timeline, but with the tenacity of a salmon going against the stream. No matter how bad my job is, no matter how crooked my nose is, no matter how bad my knee hurts, I want to be the person that pushes through all of it. For I do not know how much better would life be if I skipped through the hardships, but I do know it would feel a lot worse than if I pushed through them.
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