Hey there, guys! I hope you're all doing well!
What you're about to read here is my experience recovering from anorexia and bulimia, which is very positive by now. I want to focus on the good aspects of life after recovering, maybe inspire anyone who may be struggling with anything like this and I'll avoid touching any topic that may be negatively triggering, so I won't use any numbers to express weight or measurements and also won't talk about the unhealthy and dangerous habits I used to have.
The two specific things that I notice changed a lot in my life since I recovered and wanted to talk about here:
The VERY dramatic shift in my perspective of things:
I'm not only talking about my own appearance here, but also about the way I'd see the world around me and the way I see it now. For example, now it's way easier for me to trust people and make connections with them, because I no longer develop my relationships through a filter of negativity.
What do I mean by that?
Well, what I call a "filter of negativity" is basically this weird relation of how negatively I would think of myself and the way other people would think of me, there was a dramatic discrepancy.
For example, if I was talking to a friend and at some point I started complaining about my appearance and weight and they said something like "No, but you're beautiful" or "No, you're not fat", I would instantly lose trust in them, because I'd think to myself about how they were lying to me. This made really hard for me to develop trust in my friends and family to a degree where I felt like I could not trust anyone. At this point, I felt completely alone in the world, since no one was trustable for me, but now I don't suspect my family and friends this way and I understand that they were not lying to me to make me feel good about myself, but trying to make me see that they had a positive vision of me when I had an absolute negative one.
Being able to use my time more productively:
By that I mean not spending every single free minute thinking obsessively about losing weight, exercising to an unhealthy amount or overall jus feeling completely bad about myself and hating the way I look.
When i was struggling with eating disorders, they were the thing overtaking my mind and at some point the only thing that mattered to me. So I'd end up losing the chance to do anything productive in my free time. I would not allow myself to have fun, hang out with friends or just do things that make me happy and now I can see that all of that is very important to anyone who wants to live happily, so now I try to always save some time for my hobbies, activities and people who are important to me and make me feel good being around them.
Something I want to say to anyone who may be suffering from an eating disorder or anything like this:
I know how hard it is, I know about how appealing it can look to just give up. I've been there, I fought just like you're fighting and I can tell you this: You can do this, and when everything bad goes away, you're gonna notice that anyhing that costs your happiness is NOT WORTH IT.
I'm not trying to just pass a generic inspirational message here and I guarantee you that I'm beeing as sincere as I can. So, what I want to say here, mostly, is fight and keep on fighting
you're gonna survive this
and, in the future, your life will be full of happiness in ways you can't even imagine right now.
I hope you, the one reading this right now, is fine. Take care of yourself and stay safe.
Thank you for your attention and vote! :)