Seeking Independance!

I fought so hard, to be seen as independent when I was younger. Carving my own way in the world, that was my goal. I didn't need anyone, I could do it all by myself. I was convinced, that if I was to thrive in life, that I needed to prove these things to everyone that knew me. Because this would be a sign of my strength!


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So I left my shores for another, for the big city, that is London. A country girl that was at first, way out of her comfort zone, but I had something to prove, RIGHT!

I had learnt from a young age, that you cannot rely on others, that all the people that I would meet, would end up hurting me in the end. I can only imagine the energy that I was emitting, as I set off on my epic journey. It definitely was not a very warm one. I had a very hard shell around me, one that had been created over many years and one that took many more, to soften and eventually let go of.

I found it really difficult to trust people, to let them in and often I would turn away of they tried to, even run away at times. Because inside, I knew it was only a matter of time until I got hurt! I grew up questioning everyone's motives, convinced that no one would like me for me, so I assumed they wanted something from me, if they did take any notice.

I was so insecure and looking back, I now know that I stood in my own way many times. But there is also a positive side to this story. I grew up, knowing that they world was cruel, that life was hard and that love could destroy you. I grew up, questioning everything and everyone. I was not naive, I knew people could do evil things and that those whom we are meant to trust, are often the worst of all.

I grew up with my eyes wide open, for a while they were too much in the darkness and I got lost in that side for a while as a teenager. But I also got to know that side and in the end, I found some comfort in there, as strange as that may seem.

Don't get me wrong, I also saw the beauty in the world, I was a nature child, always wild and at home out of doors. It was just other humans, that I was weary of and as much as it may have held me back at some stages in my life, I am also glad that I was. There certainly, were no rose tinted glasses when I was growing up.

I can see, how so many people are struggling to accept the world that we live in, that do not want to even consider the evil that some humans perform. It is simply too much for them to comprehend, so they turn away, choosing instead to focus on living the life they are used to. Finding comfort in the repetitive nature of it.

They do not want to shake the boat, even though it is sinking, right before their eyes.

I see, how so many are dependant on this system that enslaves them, I have seen how easy it can happen. Just one small action and you are tied in. One loan, one job, a path that is so easy to walk down. Making it so easy, to hand over responsibility for your life.

But we hold so much power, we have an amazing amount of strength within and it is something that you will never realize, unless you first let go of all that you have and step out on your own. Because when we let go and allow ourselves to free fall, to surrender into the unknown, we need all our strength to navigate our way.

But once you do, you discover how much the universe works with you.It wants you to succeed!

But first you need to let go! And yes, it can be scary and there will be times when you doubt yourself, but that is all part of the journey, a journey that connects you with the power within! Realizing that you hold the power to transform, to bring about change.
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