It is quite clear that my writing streak will finally be broken next week when I take a vacation with my wife. I will be without my laptop and I will mostly be with poor internet connection. Hence the drive to keep writing every day is at its weakest right now. I mean what's the point in trying to keep up a streak that I know will be broken in a couple of days time.
It's like trying to live when you know your days are numbered - that is a horrible way to live maybe, for most people. I mean no one really knows when one's time will be up - it's like a surprise. One moment you're here, the next you're not. But then there are certain instances when maybe you don't know when the timer is going to go off, but you know you have very little time in your hands - maybe one is suffering from a terminal illness, maybe you rubbed some very wrong people up the very wrong way (!) and you know you've set the timer off! Who knows, there may be so many other examples where people already can sense it.
It is a strange predicament to be in. How do you really "live" then, knowing these are your last days? Can you really live your life to the fullest then? Or you just sulk away...?
I have no idea why this post is going in this gloom and doom direction LOL! The "LOL" by the way, is just to try and lighten shit up a bit. there is nothing to actually "LOL" about in what I have written so far.
Well maybe the idea of knowing that my streak is going to end has taken its toll, and maybe this is me trying to just stutter through the final few days. Or maybe it's just another philosophical shit post. But there is a certain clumsy feeling and my fingers can sense it.
This is why I think it is more fun to not know the end and ride the wheels of the light till the day the fuse finally burns out and it is time.
