In The Kitchen With Kat-Mock Apple Pie Edition

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Every year about this time, my hands tend to look like this:


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No, I am not mutating into a rad reptile superhero (that would be rather cool though), it's just zucchini time.

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Anyone who grows zucchini knows that the plant knows how to yield. If every garden plant was prolific as zucchini, I feel like world hunger would be rendered into a laughable phrase. There are countless jokes about people leaving zucchini on their unsuspecting neighbor's porches, and a cursory glance at the Interwebs will dazzle any web searcher with the plethora of zucchini dishes that have been created and concocted over the years we humans have been cultivating the wonder-squash.

Now me, I have a few go to zucchini recipes: Zoobana bread, chocolate, chocolate chip zucchini bread, pineapple zucchini bread, blueberry zucchini bread, zucchini salsa, and then I tend to shred and freeze gallons of the stuff for additions to things like spaghetti sauce and eggs. We are not even going to go into zoodles.

Suffice it to say, I like zucchini and enjoy experimenting with it. I also love imposter food recipes. Like throwing an unexpected, plentiful ingredient into a recipe it wasn't intended to be in and making a great and loved thing.

Enter the Mock Apple Pie.


I've eaten mock pies in the past, as most of my Depression-era grand and great-grandparents were well versed in making something cool out of whatever was around. So, I have been hankering for years to craft my own mock apple pie recipe out of the bushels and bushels of zucchini I usually end up with.

This is what I came up with:


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To start with, I made a double pie crust amount of pastry. I use both butter and vegetable shortening when making a pie crust, because I want to. I know it's not the healthiest, but if I was making a truly healthy pie, I probably wouldn't even be putting it in a crust to begin with.

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While my pie dough was chilling, I cut up two foot long zucchinis that I had selected for the pie job. I peeled them, sliced them in half, and then sliced them again. Then, I cut the seeds out of the middle of each slices.

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Next, I got out my sneaky face, and chopped the zucchini chunks into slices that resembled apple slices that one would put in a pie. My face had a smile on it as I conducted the job. I think I also heard the Austin Powers theme song somewhere.

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After I sliced all my zucchini, I placed the little pie pieces into a pot of boiling water for two minutes, to soften them up.

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Then, I drained the parboiled slices, pressing the draining apples with paper towels in order to get as much moisture out of them as possible.

After the draining, I had to admit to myself, that the faux apple slices were looking pretty good. They had a green tint to them that reminded me of Granny Smith apple pieces, which was a point in their favor.

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I tossed the drained slices into a mixing bowl and added all the normal apple pie things, sugar, brown sugar, flour, spices and such.

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Next, I rolled out the pastry. I suck at rolling circles. Heck, I suck at approximate tasks for the most part, but as long as one's pie is fairly uniform who cares? For me it's always more about the taste than presentation. Although I do admire you food artists out there!

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I then filled my pie shell with the apple mixture, dotted it all with butter and sprinkled a bit of vinegar on the filling, topped the pie, crimped the edges, and popped the whole thing into a preheated oven.

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An hour later, this vision greeted me:

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As far as taste goes, my husband just inhaled a piece of the pie. He said you honestly couldn't tell it wasn't apple, which in my book means the imposter pie is definitely a win!

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Mock Apple Pie

6-8 cups sliced zucchini (I used 7 cups)
3/4 cup granulated sugar
/1/2 cup brown sugar
2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp ground cloves
1 1/2 tsp cream of tartar
2 TBSP flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp vinegar
1 TBSP butter
1/2 tsp sugar
2 pie crusts (top and bottom)

Preheat oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit

Cook zucchini slices in boiling water for two minutes. Drain well, pressing the zucchini with paper towels to remove as much water as possible.

Add zucchini to a bowl and add sugar, brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, flour, cream of tartar, and salt. Mix well.

Place zucchini mixture into prepared pie crust (not baked just pressed into a 9inch pie pan).

Dot filling with butter, then drizzle the vinegar over the top of the filling.

Top with second pie crust

Brush pie crust with water, then sprinkle sugar on top of the crust.

Bake at 425 degrees Fahrenheit for 15 minutes, then reduce to 350 degrees and bake for another 45 minutes.

This pie is good eaten hot or cold, or even room temperature! Throw some whipped cream on there, or ice cream, or a nice piece of cheddar, you won't be sad!


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And as most of the time, all of the images in this post were taken on the author's far from deceptive iPhone.

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