The title to this post is the motto of my beloved House Raven, a pagan-based group of tight-knit individuals who are doing our best to be the change we want to see in the world. Each of us as individuals as well as collectively have dedicated our best efforts to not only our own self-realization and consciousness journeys, but also to the concept of helping to lift others around us and be beacons of light in these turbulent times all of humanity finds ourselves ensconced in. We have a very diverse group of folks (we also often mention "unity through diversity") and our skill sets are varied ~ and this has proven many times over to be a formidable crew!
Of course, everything in life offers an equal exchange despite the fact that life is never "fair", and solid foundations are certainly in exchange for facing insurmountable odds...
Between April 23 and May 2 both my home and now my community have been rocked by several traumatic experiences that feel tragic and the process to find the light again in the darkness has not been easy. As someone who finds self-worth partially in my own strength during difficult times, finding myself crushed under the weight of these tragedies has been doubly hard to accept. While still reeling from the weight of our family's traumas that sent me on a week-long sabbatical to be able to collapse where our children would not see me in such a state (I know you parents can relate to this one!), a sudden death in our greater community hit just as I had pieced myself together enough to come home. While still feeling in shambles, I was presented with an opportunity to tap in to part of my own skill set and knowledge for a dear friend who has now been thrust front and center in the position to save and protect a child left without their rock through the death that happened.
I am grateful to have all of the skills and knowledge and wisdom I have gained over the years and the opportunity to help others (especially people I have love and respect and admiration for), and yet even in the midst of this whirlwind I found myself reflecting on how I have acquired these tools and the sheer amount of pain and suffering that led to this toolbox that I carry with me.
It has been often said "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and also "it is when we struggle that we truly are able to grow". Yet, each milestone earned, each battle won, ultimately leads to a more difficult milestone to overcome, a more powerful foe to defeat in battle. It is of note here that the "foe" I speak of is only sometimes another human; sometimes it's ourselves, sometimes it's just a metaphor for the challenges of life.
The tools I pulled out of my toolbox for my dear friend have been gained through decades of milestones, of battles ~ some of which I have overcome and some of which have overcome me. During my sabbatical I had to reconstruct myself in a way to accept once again that failures are a part of life and do not define me, and I had to once again accept that what I may view as a failure today may seem tomorrow like a tool at my disposal. I had to be reminded by loved ones as well as my own inner guides that these things don't make me a failure. I had to remember that giving up isn't a realistic option. I had to swim back to the surface, to the light, to the air, to myself.
Even as I type this, I am still reeling and working to accept the words that are flowing onto the page. Even as you are reading this I am still piecing myself back together. There are new wounds, there will be scars that last the rest of my life. The events that caused the most recent round of personal traumas in our home are far from over, and so closure isn't currently an option, and I have to accept that not understanding at this time the lessons of spirit being presented (or to whom) is just the way it is. I have to accept that the battle is by no means over, and there will be more wounds before it is done.
All of this I have shared with you, dear reader, to remind myself of "who we are, what we do", with the faith that sharing my own pain will help lessen that of another. We love, we live, we embrace something much higher than ourselves. In the most challenging times in our lives, it can be the hardest to have faith, to trust in spirit, to let go of our pain. Yet that is when we need those tools the most. Loving can hurt. Caring can hurt. Acting through word and deed for a greater purpose, accepting the role as a protector and healer of children/the meek/the innocent/the wounded/Mother Earth ~ this conscious choice comes with an exchange of having to deal with the horrors of metaphorical war, of standing as a shield even knowing that you become the target. Yet time and again, this is my choice. Truth flies straight as a perfectly aimed arrow, love heals all wounds, and we are never alone when we make the choice to be the arrow of truth, or the shield of love.
From the darkness the light is born, and to the darkness of the void the light will one day return. From the cracks we all receive throughout our life experiences as living beings within these human clothes, we become a prism, able to bend the light into rainbows and back into light again to share with others. Sometimes we are tempered as a sword on the anvil with fire and blows, sometimes we are given the softness of the gentlest butterfly's kisses to share the beauty of life, but at all times we are weaving ourselves into the tapestry of this universe in the way of our choosing.
To all of you who do your best, even when it doesn't feel like enough
To all of you who choose love, even when it hurts
To all of you who seek the path, even when it is hidden
To all of you who dedicate your very souls to the journey of the unknown, trusting the guidance of something higher than ourselves
I say unto you ~ we are united, we are power, we are change.
Our circle may be open but it is never broken.
