Image by Alexa from Pixabay Source
Self-worth is a fundamental aspect of our emotional well-being and overall happiness. It is the measure of how we value ourselves and our own abilities, strengths, and weaknesses. Our self-worth plays a crucial role in shaping our thoughts, behaviors, and relationships. Many of us struggle with low self-worth due to various reasons such as negative experiences, societal pressures, or comparison with others.
Now a days external validation has become the norm and it is easy to fall into the trap of seeking approval and validation from others. We often rely on their opinions to determine our worth, which can lead to anxiety, self-doubt, and even depression. This is where the concept of self-validation comes into play. Self-validation refers to acknowledging and accepting one's own emotions without seeking approval or permission from others. It involves recognizing our feelings as valid and legitimate without the need for external reassurance. In other words, it means giving ourselves permission to feel whatever we are feeling without judging ourselves. But why is it so important? Building a strong sense of self-worth requires consistent validation from within rather than outside sources.
When we validate ourselves and accept our emotions without judgment, it boosts our confidence in who we are as individuals. We start trusting ourselves more and rely less on others' opinions for reassurance. Seeking validation from others can cause us to conform to societal norms or compare ourselves with others. Self-validation encourages authenticity and self-acceptance, which leads to a happier and more fulfilling life.
Constantly seeking external validation can create anxiety, as we become overly concerned about others' opinions. Self-validation helps us become less reliant on outside sources for our self-worth, leading to reduced anxiety and by getting in touch with our own emotions and validate ourselves, we develop resilience to deal with challenging situations. We learn to trust ourselves and our ability to cope with difficulties without relying on external validation. This can also help us to form healthy relationships based on mutual respect and understanding because we'll be more confident, authentic, and resilient.
But why are we always looking for external validation?
The human need for validation is a deeply ingrained one, stemming from our innate desire for acceptance and belonging. We seek validation from others to confirm our worth and value as individuals. This external validation often comes in the form of compliments, praise, recognition, and approval from friends, family, colleagues, or even strangers.
As social beings, we have an inherent need to feel accepted and belong to a group or community. This stems from our evolution as humans where being part of a group meant better chances of survival. Today, this translates into seeking validation from others as a way to ensure that we are fitting in with societal norms and expectations. And not only that but our past experiences, upbringing, cultural beliefs, and societal conditioning can all contribute to feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem. As a result, we may internalize these insecurities and seek external validation as a way to counter them.
The negative effects of external validation
Self-worth, or the belief in one's own value and worth as a person, is something that every individual constantly strives to maintain and enhance. While there are various factors that contribute to our sense of self-worth, such as our personal achievements, relationships, and skills, many people tend to rely solely on external validation for their self-worth. This means seeking approval, acceptance, and praise from others in order to feel good about oneself.
While receiving recognition and positive feedback from others can certainly boost our self-esteem temporarily, relying solely on external validation for self-worth can have several negative effects in the long run.
One of the biggest problems with relying solely on external validation is that it can lead to an inflated ego. When someone's sense of worth is solely dependent on what others think of them, they may become overly focused on receiving compliments and seeking constant approval. This can result in an exaggerated sense of superiority and a tendency to look down upon those who do not validate them.
In my opinion, when I notice this trait in someone, I prefer to distance myself from that person. As individuals, we have the freedom to choose our own path. Surrounding ourselves with such individuals can influence us and lead us down a similar path. Our strength of character and self-confidence play a crucial role in this. Being around these people can sometimes cause self-doubt to creep in, hindering our personal growth and self-worth. Self-doubt can arise from past failures or negative criticism, making it difficult for us to recognize our own value. Self-validation is a powerful tool that can positively impact our self-worth. It shifts our focus from seeking validation externally to finding it within ourselves. We often rely on others' approval and opinions of us, which makes our worth unstable and dependent on their perceptions. In contrast, by validating ourselves, we cultivate a more stable sense of self-worth based on our beliefs and opinions about ourselves. Moreover, self-validation helps us develop a deeper connection with who we are as individuals. When we take the time to reflect on our needs and values without comparing ourselves to others or judging ourselves harshly, we strengthen our authenticity and sense of worthiness.
Let our children not grow up in a terrible world. Together we can make it better. It is our destiny to
suffer from the past, to long for the future, but to forget the present.
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