Another Day, Another Death... Times of Passage, Grief and Rebirth

I have been somewhat "thin" on these pages, as of late.

Seems like we have had a wave of death and sad news wash over us during the past ten days or so, starting with the passing of our dear friend Jim about 10 days ago, following a long battle with cancer.


The next day, we learned that another long-time friend has an inoperable brain tumor, and has maybe two-three months to live.

Maybe three days passed, and the morning email brought us news that another friend — Philip — had been found dead in his truck, slumped over the steering wheel of his truck. He was 41, and recently a widower after losing his wife to cancer in February 2020... they were among our favorite "couple friends" and now are both gone, within a year of each other.

That same afternoon, news of yet another friend having passed that day from "Covid-related complications." She was in her early 50's.

Maybe it was the next day, maybe a couple of days... our daughter called us, quite distraught, because her boss' daughter and son-in-law (both just 23) had been hospitalized following overdoses... he died shortly after being admitted; she remained critical for 48 hours but is going to live.


The most recent point of loss happened yesterday. when our son (33) and daughter-in-law had to take their beloved 18-year old cat to the vet one final time, to pass across the "Rainbow Bridge."

One of the interesting things about being human is that you do eventually reach a point where you just run out... of tears, of emotions, of the ability to feel. A quiet sort of numbness sets in... you feel a bit like the ball in an emotional pinball machine.

Typically, grieving takes some time; be it days or weeks... but we are not always afforded the luxury of time; this is one of those times where you just feel buffeted from the winds of life in ways that are hard to withstand.


Anyway, my inspiration level has been pretty low; "my mind and heart hasn't been in it," you might say.

Meanwhile, life just goes on, regardless. There are still electric bills to pay, dogs to be walked, businesses to attend to... "the world" doesn't really care about our setbacks and traumas... we just need to suit up and show up, regardless.

Not everyone has it in them. Those of us who knew Philip well also know that whereas his untimely death will be attributed to "Natural Causes," those natural causes were pushed along by hopeless debt from a failed business, being laid off from his job back in October, the loss of his wife of 20 years to cancer last year and a few other setbacks.

As an acquaintance who's also a psychologist once pointed out: "Not all suicides are committed by obvious means."


Meanwhile, it was Inauguration Day in the US of A. Whereas I was never a fan of Trump, and I am not a fan of Biden, I am still choosing to see this day as a "marker" of sorts... a marking of the turning of a page from "that situation" to "this situation," and with that perhaps a sense of hope for some kind of calm, however brief.

Over the past, we have "lost" maybe 1/3 of the people we call "friends" and not because of old age. Plus one really sweet cat. That shit can stop any time now!

And with that thought, I'm going to head off to bed... and may there be brighter times ahead!

As always, thanks for reading!

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Created at 20210121 00:57 PST