This past Easter (which feels like several years ago...), one of our neighbours was nice enough to give our kids this pretty giant chocolate bunny. Of course when you have this chocolate piece of art... it is pretty hard to get the will to smash it up and eat it. There is resistance from the wife, who doesn't want the kids to eat that much chocolate... and there is resistance from the kids who don't want to bash the bunny.
Still, it is the inevitable cycle of life that chocolate bunnies are destined to be eaten... and they need to be dispatched in the most humane way possible. The task falls to me to figure out how to make this happen... as the girls have run out the room, not wanting to see the slaughter and more interested in choosing what film we will be watching.
So, my first thought was a decapitation that was going to be either samurai-like or guillotine-like depending on which side of the world you are more familiar with. I was starting to line up the cut, but the chocolate ended up being thicker than I had thought... and I was starting wonder about the wisdom of using a sharp knife on an object that was likely to slip around. Bleeding to death whilst trying to open a chocolate bunny is NOT the epitaph that I want to have on my gravestone...
Punch the bunny! Whilst probably satisfying... and considering that I don't have any concerts for a couple of months still... it would probably hurt quite a bit. I've never punched anything in my life (well... bread dough?).... so, I'm not really sure how to do it without hurting myself.... and his head does feel harder than my finger bones!... but man, that sly smile of his is starting to annoy me!
Ah yes... the triumph of man over bunny. Utilising our unfair advantage to be able to harness the power of tools, I have settled on bashing the bunny with a meat mallet. It is heavy enough to cause some serious damage, enough to take his head off in one single blow. See if you think that is funny!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!! In the showdown between chocolate bunny and man... we have a clear winner.... and a slightly distressed toddler who came in just as I smashed his head! Still, not distressed enough to not partake in the ritual eating of the chocolate... we are all now implicated in this chocolaty murder.... none of us are innocent!
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