Mastering power

Within all of us lies great power, or so my father said to me a time or two. I recall him saying it most often at moments when I'd been subjected to ill-treatment at the hands of others. I was a young child at the time and struggled with the treatment I'd received, racially-motivated, that left me battered and bruised on the exterior and deeply troubled within.

I learned harsh lessons at a very young age, came to understand the nature of human beings and myself and those moments gave my father the chance to drop his pearls of wisdom upon me here and there and lead by example in action and deed.

It wasn't until many years later I came to truly understand what he meant. He'd explained I had the power of choice, power to rise above and be a better man (boy), the power to stand apart and own my individuality, the power to deny the opportunity for other people's hate and prejudice to change who I was but...I was a kid and it didn't sink in immediately. As I grew older I gained my own power in the form of strength and to my discredit I used it against those who sought to impose their own upon me; I was rather brutal. The vilification ceased but I didn't feel good about it in the long run.

Over the years I've wielded great power, had the ability to affect lives, to give and take and to make a difference both positive and negative.

Looking back I shudder to think what actions I could possibly have taken with the power I had at my disposal but here's the thing...The lessons I learned from my father had permeated down to my core and guided my attitudes, thoughts and actions. He had taught me about true power. Through my fathers calm words and influence I learned how to master myself, to show ownership, take responsibility and to be the best man I could possibly be. Invaluable lessons.

My father was a peaceful man; kind, generous and humble and I've tried to emulate that, to carry his legacy. I'm the same sometimes, but there's elements of me that contradict those also. I wonder if I'm more well-rounded than he was, more pragmatic. I'm not sure. I've wielded power though, efficiently and with precision and I've thought a lot about what my father would think should he have known the extent of it.

I've always operated within the framework of values my father instilled in me as well as I possibly could, working to hold integrity and honour above all. I had the power to do so, dad showed me that. Of course, I also had the power to compromise those values, ethics and morals and I have, to my great shame. Not one of us are perfect though and sometimes we need to take a circuitous route to get where we are going; I have certainly have done that in my life...I still am.

Dad is gone now, last year, but I thank him silently every day.

I am my own man of course, completely different to him, but also part of him. In my formative years he taught me the concepts I'd use later to design and create myself in the image I wanted to resemble, my life as well, and whilst I have my faults, many, many faults, I can sometimes look myself in the mirror and like what I see. He's the reason.