Are you okay?
It's one of those little questions we often ask each other and which we rarely give a straight answer to.
Yeah, I'm Fine...
Are you okay?
A slight shake of the head betrays our inner reality when we reply "Yeah, I'm fine."
We've pretty much all done it. Tell the world that we're okay when in fact we're not okay. So much of the time people are actually not okay.
Of course, OK-ness is a fairly subjective and often changeable state of mind.
It could be that I'm actually okay as compared to other days when I was more definitively not okay even though when I tell you "I'm okay" I'm not actually okay because I could sure be a hell of a lot better. See where I'm going with this?
It's all relative.
Truth be known, I'm almost never okay... at least not in an absolute sort of sense. Perhaps a more accurate thing to say would be that "I'm managing," which is somewhat different from actually being OK.
And when I look back across my life, I'm not sure I've ever been entirely okay. Maybe that sounds a little histrionic but... but it's also the product of a anxious nature, "married" to some rather unfortunate life experiences.
Don't Burden People With That Stuff!
I guess I was taught to tell the world that I was "OK" from a very young age. My mother instilled in me as a sort of core value that I was not to burden people with my troubles because who wants to listen to somebody complain about their struggles?
My mother was somewhat like a depressed ray of sunshine who refused to consider anything other than presenting a perfectly polished facade to the world.
Not being a burden was a core part of my entire upbringing and younger life. Don't be a burden; don't make noise; stay out of the way; don't draw attention to yourself; be invisible. Although not directly framed in such a direct way it was certainly a lesson in keeping your troubles to yourself.
Just to clarify, though, it wasn't to say that you shouldn't be aware of your troubles and then do something to solve whatever problem it was you were having. Self-reliance was considered extremely important. But it were always to be self reliance.
The Unlikely Magic of Eleven Muffins!
Not at all related, something definitely okay happened this morning. There were a strange set of coincidences in the kitchen!
For no particular reason, I noticed that the time on the stove was 11:11 as I opened my bag of freshly purchased English muffins only to discover that there were in fact 11 muffins in a bag that was supposed to contain 10 muffins!
Somehow, that seemed like it was a very auspicious sign. Not sure exactly what it would be a sign of, nor what it would be relating to... but somehow it seemed auspicious.
In some small way, I think it was a message from the Universe that sometimes things do turn out better than expected!
I Think I Needed That!
I say that, because immediately prior to the muffin incident I had been contemplating this whole issue of "not burdening people with problems," and the consequential situation that I have experienced during much of my life... which has been avoiding telling anyone of problems because they would almost inevitably turn out to be far more complex and expensive than expected.
And who wants to be burdened with that?
Perhaps you know the drill. You take in your car for a simple oil change and the mechanic says "Weeelll, you also need new brakes and a new transmission" and instead of a $49.95 oil change you have an $1,100.00 Auto Repair bill... making you wish you'd just stayed in bed!
Mostly, though, my issue has been with water leaks.
It seems no matter where I move to or live, leaky toilets and leaky pipes start happening immediately!
And, invariably I set out to buy a $20 replacement part for a leaking toilet only to discover that part of the wall has to be replumbed to the tune of a thousand bucks. And that's one of the reasons I often have such hesitance with expressing what the problem is because direct experience tells me that sometimes it's better to just let the toilet drip slightly for all eternity.
The preceding are, of course, primarily analogies, more than a reflection of real life... although the experience of problems being far worse than imagined is very real. And they are often far more expensive than expected... hence my last vacation was in 2015! Am I OK with that? Actually... not really...
Ah, they joys of homeownership!
Thanks for visiting, and have an awesome weekend!
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Created at 2023-05-26 23:48 PST
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