It has been almost three weeks since we broke the news to our children that our time in the Netherlands was limited and that we were exploring ways to move back to Australia within the year (or as soon as it is feasible given the current situation!). Our two girls are 9 and 4, and they have grown up here in the Netherlands. In many ways, they identify as Dutch, especially the older child. In addition, our physical home here is what they know best, the youngest one was born into this house and the oldest one has only hazy memories of previous places.

Needless to say, it was quite a sad moment... it isn't a thing that my wife and I were looking forward to, but it had to be done as they would have to have time to absorb the information. Still, making your child cry and upending their world as they know it is probably not the happiest moment in my parenting life... but it did feel good to get the secret finally out into the open.

As expected, the four year old didn't really understand the gravity of the news. She has not really had much time at school to make really strong friendship connections, and due to the past year of Corona-virus, she also hasn't had strong links into the Dutch society through activities either. So, she was more upset by the fact that her parents and older sister were upset and crying and hugging each other...

Our oldest daughter was the one that took it the hardest. When we revealed the news, she instantly burst into tears. Of course, we had been preparing them both gently over the last year with suggestions about various aspects of Australia and their cousins and extended families. They have both visited a few times in their short lives, and they do have fond memories of their trips there and they miss all the extended family time. Over the year, they have both talked about missing Australia and wanting to go there again...

However, none of that really prepares you for the shock of the news that everything is going to change. We wouldn't be leaving instantly... there are still some things that will take some time to get properly sorted, but the aim is before the end of the calendar year (before the next Australian school year starts), but there is much of that is really not completely in our hands to decide!

After a bit of a family cry and cuddle, she was okay though. She is looking forward to going back, but knows that it will be difficult as she is going to leave her friends and the familiar life here. She is going back to a very supportive and familiar environment of extended family though, which should help her through the rough initial stages, and she will have the ability to stay in some contact with her friends here. That said, most of the friends will have gone to different schools after basisschool (primary) anyway... but that is little consolation for an emotional reaction!

So, the news is out... and our kids don't hate us. At least it is an adventure that we are going to do all together, and all of us will have our difficulties in relocating, but we will be able to stick together and support each other.

The older girl spent the rest of the next day writing and making letters to give to her friends... she doesn't want to tell them directly as she thinks that she will just cry again. Over time, I hope she will talk more about it though... she is one that is on the stoic end of things (a bit like her father..), and at some point that resilience might break and go a bad direction.

It will take a while yet for things to really get moving, but in the meantime, my wife and I don't have to hide the secret any longer and we can all move forward on this together and make the most of the time that we have left here in Europe!... during Corona-virus...

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