If there’s anything living in Lagos, Nigeria has taught me, it is to “Shine ya eye”. In other words, be smart. I believe every Lagosian has a story to tell, and not every story is pleasant.
To live in Lagos, you need a little bit of craziness here and there. Even if you’ve always been the soft type(AJEBUTTER), Lagos will mold you into an AJEPAKO version.
Ajepako - denotes individuals who are tough, with a dash of crazy here and there. They can adapt to any situation and will survive even in the most extreme circumstances.
Ajebutter- simply put, soft. It denotes someone who was born with a silver spoon in their mouth. Someone who hasn’t quite experienced the tough things of life.
My phones were stolen at two different bus stops on two different occasions by Lagos “hoodlums”, “street urchins”, or “pickpockets”. Here’s how it happened.
On my way home from work on a Thursday, I waited at Allen Bus stop, Ikeja axis, for a ride to Berger. It was getting dark, and the bus stop was packed to overflow as usual. I knew about various “agbero” tricks and gimmicks, but I never foresaw what happened that very day. But, I do remember a woman hawking drinks and gala. She kept roaming around the park saying;
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“ Make una hold una bag o, make nobody con talk say na for Allen them thief hin thing:
(Y’all hold your bags well, so you don’t have reasons to say your belongings were stolen at Allen bus stop).
The point is, I'm still not sure whether that lady was actually warning us because she saw something we didn't, or if she was conspiring with the thieves/pickpockets to distract us.
Anyway, a cab finally came, and as usual, there was a rush. I managed to press my way into the cab. But, when it was time to pay the driver, my phone had mysteriously disappeared from my small bag. I managed to pay the driver without making a fuss. I began to reflect, assess, and evaluate the issue. Where did I get it wrong? How did it happen?
This is it. These thieves wait at bus stops pretending to be headed in specific locations, so when the cab or bus comes, they push people and struggle as if they truly want to secure a spot in the bus, when in actual fact, they are stealing from bags, pockets, purses, and so on.
I didn’t know this strategy at the time. I recall that as I approached the cab, there were suddenly people pressing from all angles, yet when I was able to enter, only one person got in behind me. All of the others had disappeared! If you're acquainted with the rush hour in Lagos, you’ll understand the struggle to get a bus ride or a cab home after work.
If you’re wondering why I didn’t go back to the bus stop in search of my phone, it's because there was really no sense in going back. Pickpockets in Lagos are cunning to a fault. Going back there would have yielded no beneficial results. After all, this is Lagos.
I went home in utter disbelief. I cried like a little child because the phone was barely a month old. It took a while to get a new phone. And, since I'm a sucker for Samsung phones, I acquired yet another Samsung phone. Everything was going smoothly, but I was still paranoid to a fault. I was certain that the agberos would never outsmart me again, but I was mistaken.
My second ‘shine ya eye’ incident occurred when my phone was taken from my bag, in a very similar fashion to the first. It was a Monday morning, I recall. Monday mornings are often congested and crowded, so you may have to wait a while to get a ride to work.
I was ready to board the bus when some hoodlums began fighting-- I believe it was the conductor of the bus I was to board, and the hoodlums at the bus stop. There was a lot of pushing and shoving, the next thing I know, I was punched in the mouth.
I'm not sure whether it was an accident or if it was deliberate. I eventually managed to get myself out of the brawl just at the bus's entry and boarded the bus. I tried to take my phone out of my bag so I could contact HR for an update. It was gone! My new Samsung phone was gone. Again.
Now that I think about it, I laugh at myself. I remember getting off the bus, bewildered, with tears in my eyes. I requested that someone call my phone; it rang twice and that was the end of it. I hopped on the very next bike I saw. I went straight home.
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When I got home, I sat on the floor of my apartment and WAILED until I was satisfied. Afterward, I washed my face, reapplied my makeup, and went to work. I hope you factored out the difference. The first time, I cried, the second time I wailed.
To have had my phone stolen on two different occasions in similar methods over a very short span of time was beyond heartbreaking, but I learned the lessons the hard way.
My third “Shine Ya Eye” experience is quite hilarious. I wrote about it a while back, Please click on this link to read the full story.
‘On the said day, I boarded a public bus (danfo). The fare was N200(200 Naira), I had just N1,200 in my purse so I opted to give the bus conductor the N1,000 note just so I’d get change. Somehow, I gave him the N200 instead. About 10 minutes into the ride, the driver began to ask for money again.
Me: With a facial expression as hard as a rock
Excuse you, I don pay your conductor now oga, you no go follow your conductor talk?
(Excuse you, I have paid your conductor Mr. Won’t you ask your conductor?).
Driver: Madam, I no get conductor o, who you give money?
(Madam, I do not have a conductor, who did you pay ?)
Me: Oga, but I have paid the N200, which kine thing you dey talk sef?
(What are you even saying?)
I was pretty angry at this point until he said to look around. I realized there was no bus conductor. Apparently, I had given the money to a random ‘Agbero’ (thug) who was standing right next to the open window where I was sitting. I had asked to confirm that the fare was N200 to which he nodded in agreement.
It's typical in Lagos for bus conductors to collect bus fares through the window before the vehicle leaves the park, so I thought nothing of it. When I realized what had happened, I burst out laughing with the other passengers.
To tell you the truth, I wasn’t furious; rather, I was amused and thankful that I didn't give him my N1,000 note’.
In conclusion, Lagos is made up of individuals from various walks of life. Heck, the craziest kinds of people live in Lagos. Regardless, I cannot imagine living anywhere else(within Nigeria) because these experiences have molded, taught, and toughened me.
I have a lot of crazy ‘Shine Ya Eye’ stories, but I'd love for you to share yours with me. What is your ‘Shine Ya Eye’ story?