Should there be privacy in relationships?


I took so much interest in this contest and even had to share it with some Hivers because we once argued about this topic some time ago.

Privacy in relationships is a subject that has led to lots of bad happenings in relationships in the world today and the impact of our smart phones on privacy issues has taken things from fair to worse. I will approach this topic from different angles just to express myself clearly.


What do you think in regards to privacy in relationships?

Privacy in relationships is not something I encourage 100% but I also think it can't be completely avoided in a relationship and this depends on the people who are involved in the relationship.

Whether we like it or not, there are things our partners wouldn't want to share with us no matter how open they are to us, and the decision whether to talk about it or not is left to them. This is not because they are cheating, sometimes it could be for good reasons.

During the early day of my relationship with my partner, she tells me a lot. She is beautiful and guys were always disturbing her, I mean guys that can pay me off to leave her alone.

I started feeling insecure because I was very broke, she noticed it and stopped giving me a complete breakdown of her daily experience at work, on the road, and others. It only increased the level of insecurity in the relationship because I felt she was up to something and when we talked about it after a quarrel she told me why she stopped.

Privacy in a relationship has to do with trusting one another that's why it is wrong to go into a relationship with someone you don't trust because every move your spouse makes becomes something to be suspicious about.

As much as we think that privacy is not okay in a relationship because it builds chances for people to cheat while in a relationship, we must understand that there is a need for it to some extent.

How do you expect a woman whose boss is crushing on her to tell her husband such a thing? What do you think would run through the husband's mind when she is dressed up for work or when she closes late from work claiming she had too much work on her desk?

She has the right to keep that private as long she can handle it without breaking the trust of her husband, telling things like that even make the husband insist on her quitting the job but it shouldn't be a secret if she can't control it because it could get worse if the husband finds out.

Privacy in a relationship is a very complicated thing and I think the level of the lover's understanding will determine a lot of things about their individual lives.


Is it okay for partners to go through each other's phones?

Yes, it is okay. I do check my fiancee's phone but do not intend to find something incriminating, there are times when I leave my phone with her if she is around. She knows my passwords, our finger prints opens each others phones so we trust one another and wouldn't do anything to ruin our beautiful relationship.

We spend time together watching videos on Facebook, she tells me to help reply to messages when it pops up, and I play candy crush a lot on her phone. Checking to find incriminating things on the phone will only make you get mad at irrelevant issues.

There is no big deal in that as long as they don't have anything fishy about them on the phone. I don't know all her friends because I am not interested but she knows mine and the relationship I keep with. There are boundaries though, I don't reply to messages that have to do with her family even if she tells me to help her do so because that should be private.


Does keeping your phone away from your partner spell infidelity?

It does and it doesn't, if it has been a tradition from the early days in the relationship then, it is probably fine but if in my relationship such happens, we will know that something is wrong.

I was trying to flirt some time ago, I was just pulling legs and I had to start hiding my phone. I didn't complete 10% of the mission before I was caught, it was easy for her to know that something was wrong. It was funny then, I have to take my phone to the bathroom whenever she is around. It is the foundation that has been laid that would determine if hiding a phone from a partner spells infidelity.


Or are these just thoughts of an insecure body in the relationship?

Insecurity in a relationship can build up all these issues about privacy and it beats down to the question of "Why would you go into a relationship with someone who you don't trust?" This insecurity feeling ruins a relationship and it is better not to get into it than deprive yourself of peace all in the name of being in a relationship.


Too much privacy in a relationship can create a hole or room for infidelity.

A woman once told me about having a separate room from her husband in the same house, they sleep separately except they want to make love and the husband took advantage of that.

She was checking through his phone and saw a contact that he does video call and voice call with every night, she confronted him but it was late because the lady the husband was dating was pregnant already.
Too much privacy can lead to infidelity so we have to define privacy in our relationship in the best way we think no one will get hurt in the relationship.

The most important thing remains that lovers must trust each other to a point where their individual lives won't become a problem in the relationship.

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