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At times it reach to sit down at some point and rethink this life we are in, thinks aren't going the way it should, or was it just imaginations or seems like fairy tales those life we thought we will grow up to life, those mansions we thought we will build or those million dollars that will be sitting pretty in our bank account, everything now look like tales that cant manifest. Things aren't easy I must say, the pressure keep trooping in especially if you are the first male child and you have lot of siblings looking up to you, you have to go extra length just to make sure everything is well just because you have younger ones looking up to you. At times I do wish I'm the only one even though it is a selfish thought, at least you will know the pressure on you wont be much, you manage what you see or have and you can do some things without anyone really questioning you.
Things are now way harder than before, in our economy, we now purchased things 3x more than the original price, yet salaries didn't increase and you can't even quit because there is no job out there, we all have to engage in different side hustles and even have to wait for pay day just to survive. The news I met in my church area this Sunday morning was a bad one, we actually drop to church to attend the early morning services when I saw lot of people gathering together at the opposite end of the street, normally if you see people gathering at a place from where I came from, especially if some are people hands on their chest or standing in twos or three, then something bad definitely happened, I had to ask someone what went wrong and I was told someone actually commit suicide (hang himself) overnight and they saw his lifeless body this morning, I was shocked to be honest because I have heard of suicide news and I had to think what might have lead to such bad decision if not pressure which can lead to depression, I was sad because ending it all isn't a solution, they use to say as long as there is life, there will be hope somewhere.
Just like hebrews 10 vs 23 Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful
There was a time I was really depressed, sometimes around last year, because the pressure coming in was too much, lot of demand yet my only source of income was really shaking, even If I have to give excuse, those demanding wont even listen, I just had to lock myself up in my room and I was really grateful I stayed alone, so it was somehow easy to think on what to do, either I give in to the pressure or just cut everyone off for the main time, I had to just take out the only way they could contact me, and also archive most people on whatsapp so I can focus on how to first find solution and build myself back up before even listening to any one demand, had to put different kind of work together, put the pay into some investment for more returns, and with time I was able to overcome the depression by first getting rid of where the pressure was actually coming from.