Introduction

I would like to talk about feelings and thoughts and also we will talk about -

Technique that we can use to help us manage a feeling

to help us calm down, to help us be in the moment, and not to get upset.

Before we start, I would like to thank @hive-102879 for bring a great topic for this month which is surprise me too, and i want thank @jemima1996 for her feedback in my previous post .

So, what I want to share is summary from my past experience that i want to share and i hope this one come handy to all of us.

Without further a do , lets start.

Our feelings and our thoughts are interrelated,

usually the thought comes first and that's when we start having the feeling. Sometimes it's difficult in the moment, it can be difficult to figure out our thoughts because sometimes if we are too angry, too upset, or too anxious. All of them coming in our body also and the body started reacting to it - like muscle tension ,jaw tightness, migraine and headaches.

What happens sometime in that moment it can be difficult to manage a thought because we are so much into our feelings. That we have hard time thinking about our thoughts, if we can manage our thought what is the thinking behind this feeling then we can manage that feeling better but in some situation it can be difficult.

So, we'll talk about one technique we can use to manage our feeling in the moment

let's talk about an example. let's say, i am driving my car and i'm running late and i'm stuck in traffic i start thinking first,

“ oh i should have left earlier ” .

i'm stuck in this traffic and then i start feeling upset angry. But what happened these things things go so fast. Sometimes it's difficult to tell or difficult to remember my thought behind this feeling. So i'm only feeling my feeling at this time, i'm starting getting upset and what happened then, i start having muscle tightness, back pain and sometimes bloody vision then it keeps going more and more.

So what i can do, i can try to breathe. Breathe in - breathe out for like, four seconds breathe in - four seconds breathe out. i can try to be in the moment and try not to judge the situation.

When i start feeling upset, instead of telling myself that i am upset because what is going on now that i'm stuck in traffic i am upset. let's say instead of saying “ i am upset ” instead of kind of blaming my whole body, my brain about upset.

i will add this thing to my statement of i'm upset, i'll say :

“ i am feeling upset ”

What i am doing now is the same statement, i'm just telling my brain that it's not that upset is not me. it's my feeling.

Deteach Yourself From This Feeling

So what i'm doing, i'm kind of detaching myself and that's it's so helpful to detach yourself from this feeling because this feeling is not me. it's just a feeling that i have, it's not me instead of let's say, when i am feeling down or depresse that i am blaming myself the whole thing is depressing.

i'm saying it is a feeling to “ i am feeling depressed” . So i'm kind of detaching myself. Once i will detach what will happen; i'm creating this space kind of between me and my feeling.

So i have this feeling but it's not me. Sometimes people will do something and then they failed that exam and they would say “ i am a failure ”. So what they did, they kind of put the blame on themselves.

Instead of doing that, what they can say is “i am feeling failure”, “i am feeling that i am a failure” something like that. So, you are kind of giving yourself a little space and you are telling yourself,

“ hmmm maybe you know what, i failed at something it does not mean i am a failure ”

The same thing when i'm stuck in traffic, “yeah i am feeling upset it does not mean i am upset”

Response Activated

So, what will happen then with that kind of statement, that will help you to detach also the language is so important because if you will tell yourself even three to five times this thing

I am feeling upset

I am feeling upset

I am feeling upset

What will happen you are also buying time, you are not enmeshed with this thinking, you're just telling yourself and your mind will start thinking more clearly because what happens. Once we are tense, once we are upset usually a fight or flight response is activated .

What we need to do by saying these kind of statement, we would like our prefrontal cortex to be more active because that's where we start thinking, we take decisions that are not impulsive. So, we are just telling our prefrontal cortex and our fight and flight response mechanism.

“ hey you know it's it's not me that it's upset the whole, i have this feeling” so i'm kind of detaching myself .

You can try this, i try it all the time. it is really very helpful.

So hopefully this was helpful for you, if you have any comments, please write down below and then we'll continue to create more that will be focused on how manage our feelings and thoughts

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