So, the past two months have been a bit chaotic. I have been babysitting a 2-year-old who is a strong-willed, only child, used to being spoilt rather rotten and yes, she was being quite rotten. During this time, I have sidelined almost all of my things so that this child's father could work a good job. I figured I was doing something good - and also providing a more stable figure in the little girl's life at a time when nothing else seems secure. (Her mother is not around and other figures seem to come in and out of her life with frightening regularity.)
The problem is, the child is aggressive towards my children and when my kids defend themselves (against being hit and kicked), the father gets all upset because this is only a two-year-old and how dare anyone harm his angel!
Thing is, there's a limit to how much time-outs will do for a strong-willed child. There often comes a time when what they really need is a swift (anger-free) swat across the butt to remind them who is in charge. But when it's not your child and dad is quite horrified with the idea that another child might hit back to stop being assaulted, one quickly reaches an impasse.
An out-of-control two-year-old will become a terrible three-year-old, fearsome four-year-old and a teenage-tearaway if it's not corrected. I was willing to take a part in this sculpting of a young woman until I realized that my hands were completely tied.
Time to Quit
I thought about the situation long and hard. It's been quite a disruptive change for us.
We have a very small home (smaller than most people's "tiny homes" that they like to share on social media) with four clutterbugs. (We have lots of interests...) We don't have a back yard and our complex playground doesn't feel very safe.
We homeschool, make all our own meals, work together, play together...
We are also very-low-income still, so the money earned babysitting is a nice bonus.
But I had to realize that the cost was greater to my family.
- With a disruptive child, it made it difficult to homeschool, even watching documentaries became difficult because she's not used to having to entertain herself. So, she would hit the kids or make lots of noise just to get attention.
- I had to completely change my schedules for shopping and doing anything myself because I had to think about having a 2-year-old with me.
- I had to pretty much stop writing because I couldn't concentrate on anything for more than about 5 minutes before being interrupted - either by a bored 2yo or by one of the kids being hit by the 2yo.
- I'm not even including the extra work - cleaning, toilet training, changing diapers, fixing extra food... that goes with the territory. I even bought extra toys, books and things to try to keep her amused.
- The stress factor also became huge. I was more irritable as were both of my daughters - and my husband.
Time to place my family first! Time to quit.
Note: I've looked after other two-year-olds (besides my own), it's not alien territory... but I don't think I've ever had to look after a 2yo only child who is used to being the center of her world...
I didn't even say that I'd completely quit - just that I didn't want to be the primary caregiver anymore. I could still be a backup... but he interpreted that as quitting completely... so be it. I don't need the drama in my life. (I'm more than capable of finding my own!)
Nature Therapy
We went out in the car for awhile to unwind and connect with nature. Our preferred spot was already closed for the season (must remember to hit it before the equinox next year!) So, we went down along the river where I took pictures last spring... I'll share two of my favorites with you right now. Others will come later.
First, this lovely butterfly (probably a monarch) on a flowering plant of some sort. (Already added to my Facebook profile.)
And this one, looking up into the autumnal cottonwoods, cropped for a Facebook cover image.
We came home from our walk feeling much better, albeit tired. Ready to take on a new chapter... without a 2yo. I almost wrote about the difference between being a victim and having victim mentality, but maybe that's for next time. I think it's an important subject.
Photos taken in Oct 2020 with my Nikon D7200. Crossposted on Uptrennd.
Past issues...
Feb 2, 2020 - Flu Sucks!
Feb 9, 2020 - Planning 2020
Feb 16, 2020 - Skating and Eating and Writing, Oh My!
Feb 23, 2020 - Chicken Scratchings and Graphics
Mar 1, 2020 - Inspections R Us
Mar 8, 2020 - New Chicks
Mar 15, 2020 - Pandemic Hits Writing
Apr 5, 2020 - Fools in April?
Jun 14, 2020 - Of Gardens and Vibes
Lori Svensen
author/designer at A'mara Books
photographer/graphic artist for Viking Visual
(Buy my work at RedBubble, TeePublic, PicFair and DeviantArt.)
verified author on Goodreads
(Buy my books at Books2Read and at LBRY)
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